Skylar Alexandria

November, 10, 2014

I wake up at 7:00. I HATE MONDAYS!!!!!!!

I get out of bed and walk upstairs. My mom made bacon and eggs for breakfast. I ate quickly so I could get the day over with. 

After breakfast I walked upstairs to the "school room", I sat down at the computer, put my ipod on my speaker to play "clarity" (my favorite song at the moment) and started typing this in. 

So I realize this is probably really boring, I also don't know if anyone will ever read it, but it kinda makes me feel a little better just knowing that it's out there. 

So I finished school and went to dance at 4:30 like every Monday, I took two classes today, advanced 1 and advanced 2. Normally those are both ballet, but today Casey came to adv. 1 and taught contemp. All throughout that class I couldn't stop myself from thinking about Ella. At the end of Adv. 1, her boyfriend called and broke up with her. I tried my hardest not to be crazy happy, but I don't know how well I hid that... all throughout class I was so distracted, thinking that maybe now we could be together again, maybe shed give me a third chance!!! I was so happy!

So after the advanced 2 class her boyfriend called again... He unbroke up with her....... There goes all my hopes of being happy....  It kinda felt like I had just been punched, I had her and lost her so fast!!!! It makes me sad. like I wanna cry  but I just can't! Why can't I let go of her! Shes happy with him! she doesn't care about me :( I feel so empty again. I want her to be happy, But I also want her for myself... 

She is so perfect... She'll never be mine again... Why can't I let go of her, I don't want to like girls!!! I'm not that kind of person.... But for some reason I do... But just her, no one else. I just don't understand.... 

So for the rest of the night I'll listen to my few favorite songs "clarity", "wonder" and "It is what it is", catch up on writing, and watch downton abbey. I'll probably cry sometime... But yeah 

Oh yeah I also told Justin all I want to be is friends nothing more. 

So yeah that was my day. Perfect to shit in ten minutes. Goodnight world, I hope I don't wake up in the morning.