What Lies Beyond the Ocean

Chapter 24

       The chill night air enveloped us in as we snuck our way through the back doors, that lead to the royal garden. The moon was hidden under a light cloak of grey clouds, stars peek-a-booed down onto the rippling river. 

         Arm in arm, Father and I walked down the tranquil garden, enjoying one another's company. It suddenly hit me that this was the first father-daughter activity we have ever done together. My face lit up as I looked over at him. His eyes looked to mine and he smiled, acknowledging that this was our time to finally and properly bond. Just him and I.

"Father," I peeped out gingerly. "You mentioned you wanted to come back to Nilopoia to see Casa..."

He nodded, blinking in confusion. "Yes, I would be quite delighted to see her after so many years..."

I couldn't help but wonder if he has or had developed "feelings" towards her, he seemed so adamant in returning back to Allience, but what about his life here? He did establish his decision, but he specifically mentioned wanting to see Casa.

"Erline," he whispered gently against the breeze. "I know what you are formulating in your head... you believe that I have developed feelings towards Casa..."

I nodded and gulped, wondering if he would be upset of such an assumption. 

"I, I guess in a way I have. I noticed I have developed some sort of admiration towards her once I settled in Sileves, so long after your mother passed. I... I do not know how to explain it. It is not necessarily her looks, though she is beautiful, but rather her resilience. I have and am still appreciative that she raised you to become such an amazing young lady...  she has done such a wonderful job..."

His voice withered away and began shaking, as if he was going to cry.

"Oh, Father," I leaned towards him and wiped away a tear that was falling down his cheek. "I did not intend to upset you..."

"No, it's not that, darling," he took a breath. "All of this guilt that has built upon me these past 18 years have worn me out to my breaking point."

I cocked my head.

"I should have been there for you. For your mother. I should have stayed, you both needed me. I was so blinded by my own wants of defending Zalfa... but I needed to stay with my  family. Caoimhe could have lived, you could have grown up with both your mother and father. All of this is my fault... I am so sorry, Erline."

I was flabbergasted. I did not even believe that anything was his fault- that he had nothing to apologise for. He just did what he needed to ensure that this world was more safe and secure for not just me, but everyone.  He sacrificed his own life for the liberation of his country. 

I shook my head in disbelief. "Father, no. You have nothing to apologise for. You can not change the past, but you can determine your future- our future. I know that it was arduous to leave us behind, but you did it on the behalf of the Zalfan people. You did it for their safety and freedom. Caoimhe is proud of you and still loves you, I know that for a fact. She would want you to be happy and do what is best for you. "

He looked at the glossy pavement as we progressed in our stroll, taking in what I said. After about a minute, he sighed, releasing the tension in his shoulders. 

"You are right, but you made such an excursion to get here. You risked your life just to find any trace of me. I feel so wrong for that... no child... or now young lady should have to do such a thing."

I gave a slight smile and secured his arm tighter in mine. He looked up at me, slightly surprised. 

"If you want, I know a place where we can sort things out. We can sit down, it'll make this much easier."