English Education

CHAPTER THE SIXTEENTH

"C'mon Janie." Yoongi laughed as he hauled me up. "I have to go."

I glared at him as I took his hands. "Oh yeah?" 

Tug.

He came tumbling down, landing next to me with a thud. "Hey!"

I couldn't help the laughter erupting out of me. "You have to admit, that was good."

"I definitely do not. And this is so better." He laughed as he rushed at me, half wrestling, half tickling me.

"I am so not -- ah! -- responsible for what -- stop it! -- for what happens to you!" I choked out between laughs and shrieks.

"I can take it!" He smirked, wiggling his fingers against my sides.

"Stop, stop, stop!" I laughed.

"Not a chance." He he pinned my arms with one hand and kept tickling.

"You have to go, Seo-Hyeon -- ha ha ha! -- she'll kill me!" Tears of laughter pooled on my lashes as he finally relented.  "Oh my God, Yoongi! I almost died." 

He just laughed as I let him actually pull me up this time. 

"Okay, really though. You should get home and go to sleep." I chided, fixing my clothes and tugging him to the door.

"Fine, fine. I'll see you tomorrow Janie." He pulled me in for a close hug just before I could reach for the door handle.

"I'll see you later, Yoongi." I mumbled into his shoulder.

When he left, I sorely felt the loss of his presence. He had a way of filling an entire room, then taking it all with him when he left. This was definitely going to be a problem, and I was betting against myself on how long I could go without doing something stupid. I let out a groan as I made some tea, deciding it was a Netflix until the wee hours kind of night. 

When I decided my tea had steeped enough although it definitely hadn't, I grabbed my mug, snuggled down in my bed, and breathed in the left over scent of Yoongi. Oh yeah. This was definitely going to be a problem. I glanced at my phone, checking the clock and trying to think about what time it was back home. Five in the morning. 

Eh, whatever. Hailey is an early riser anyway.

Tapping her name and holding the phone to my ear, I felt nervous bursts tremble through me. The phone rang once. Twice. And just as it was about to ring a third time, I heard the click on of the other line.

"Hailey?" I asked tentatively.

"Ooh, girl. Your mother is having a cow." She teased.

"God, don't I know." I laughed, albeit a little uncomfortably.

"She actually called me to see if you were really in Korea. She's legitimately gone crazy, Jane." She filled me in on all the crazy my mom had been stirring up. "Anyway, why'd you call?"

"I'm experiencing emotions and it's ridiculous." I admitted.

"Oh no. Let me guess. The tall one. You always did like tall guys." Humor laced her voice.

"No. The quiet one." I joked back.

"Ah yes, I forgot. Quiet, then tall, then weird." 

"You know me so well." I laughed. "It's only been what, three days? And I am so in trouble."

"We all saw that coming. You've been half in love with these guys since Sam left, and now that you actually get to be in the same space as them, it's no wonder you're going a little crazy."

"He's just so amazing, Hails. He knew something was up with my mom, and when shit hit the fan, he was there. He literally came over, held me while I poured my heart out, then watched my favorite movie with me."

"Oh my God, don't tell me. You two bonded over Ragnorok." She let out a short sarcastic laugh.

"It's a good movie!" 

"Yeah, the first time. Not the twelve-hundredth." 

"Anyway," I redirected the conversation. "What do I do?"

"Well," She paused to think for a moment. "What's the worst that could happen? You have a really awesome fling, fix your damage, then come back home with a bad ass story to tell."

"I mean, yeah. But this is me we're talking about. I'm weird. I get really attached and it doesn't go away very easily. What if I hurt him or he hurts me, or we just. Get hurt?"

She heaved a sigh and I knew she was about to spout words of wisdom. "Look. You've never taken a single chance in your entire life. Not even Samuel. You'd known him since you were ten. You knew what kind of person he was. And you knew, even after you got engaged, that it wasn't a real thing. You knew exactly what was going to happen when you went to school. You knew exactly what was going to happen when you moved out. This is the first thing where you don't have all the answers. That's called life, Jane. Live it. Take a leap. Get hurt. Heal. Do it all again. That's what life is. You can't grow if you never give yourself space to."

I thought about what she said and she was right. It hurt like hell but I knew everything my mother was going to say before she said it. I knew exactly what was going to happen when I left. I knew exactly what my life was going to be like before I lived it, and here I was with the opportunity to break out. Maybe she was right. "You know what, I'll think about it. Maybe it won't be awful. Who knows?"

"That's more like it. Now I have to go get ready. Call me again, okay? We have to find a time for regular girl time so two person squad doesn't die."

"We will!" I laughed. "Well, have fun at work, I need to get some sleep. Bye!"

Rubbing a hand over my face, I plugged my phone in, rolled over, and decided maybe tonight wasn't a night for Netflix after all. I wanted to be on top of my game, especially around Yoongi. I was not about to mess things up, but I also wanted to see where things could go. I decided to just go with the flow, but smartly. I tucked all my emotions back into their neat little boxes as best I could and closed my eyes. For all the sleep I'd gotten lately, I still felt way too tired. On  the bright side though, I felt more prepared for tomorrow.