I have always been a happy person. I've had quite of a happy childhood, as every children I had problems too; my dad, who was my favorite person at that time, was going away from me because of his girlfriend. She was awful with me, and my dad didn't do anything about it. She has ruined my life for 9 years.
I was a very rebel child, since she got in our lives. I started acting really bad with my mom. She was perfect with me, a bit strict but she just wanted me to be happy. My dad fucked my brain up. I did not realize that my mom would be one of the only ones who will really support me in my entire life, no matter what happens.
My life completely changed when I got in middle school. I remember this girl in my class, she was cutting herself, and no one liked her for that. She was a monster in the eye of every kid in my school. I didn't know why she would do that, I didn't understand how hurting herself could be pleasant.
I have always been very curious, maybe too munch. One night I got home, I grabbed a needle and I started scratching my left arm. I kept doing this for a while, but I stopped before the second year of middle school. At first that seemed stupid, because I didn't have any reasons to do this, but when I started being bullied it meant something to me. I have been bullied for the whole middle school. I've always been the smallest kid in the school, and everyday everybody would come at me and laugh at me because I was small. Scratching myself became a coping mechanism for me, but I was young, I didn't understand this, so I stopped again. It was soft, a bit of skin was going away, but no blood. I didn't want to be seen as a freak like the girl that started doing this.
I went through this really quickly. I never thought about doing this again. I waited for the marks on my arm to leave because I was too ashamed of showing them, but it was so tiny and thin, nobody ever saw them. They disappeared a few weeks after.
