The Bargaining [A Good Omens Fanfic]

The Bargaining Begins

Some time after the Not-pocalypse Idk 

It was a rainy Thursday. A cold rainy Thursday. With no business to go about outdoors, Aziraphale and Crowley sat on the couch in the angel's bookshop. Crowley limbs lay in such a jumbled mess that you couldn't be sure if he was in serpent form or not. Despite his terrible posture, he still managed to carry a glass of wine in one hand, away from the couch. 

Aziraphale sat on the other end, deeply engaged in yet another book much to the demons dismay. He didn't have anything against them, except in Crowley's eyes they only took away the time he could be spending with Aziraphale . And that the book was the fifth one within the last hour.   

"Angel?" (Do I really need to add dialogue tags here?)

"Hmm?" 

"You do know there are other ways to spend time than reading?" 

"Mm-hmm."  

"What are you reading anyway?" 

"Stuff."  

Aziraphale didn't even bother following up on any details. Crowley decided that enough was enough.  He set down his empty wineglass on the nightstand, which didn't deter the angel in the slightest. Crowley slumped forward across his angel's lap and yoinked the book away, careful to save the place where he was reading.  

"Hey!" 

"Oh so now you say something. What is this anyway?" 

Crowley flipped the cover and skimmed over the description. Lions and closets and candy. Something Aziraphale would spend hours upon hours reading. Especially if it happened to be a series. (Jk I have no idea what angels read in their spare time)  

"You made me lose my page!" 

"Relax, angel. I saved it. See?" Aziraphale could very much clearly see Crowley's finger wedged between the pages.

The angel breathed a sign of relief. "Can I have my book back now?"  

"Maybe. . ." 

"Come on! I was at the most suspenseful section!" 

"Really?" A smile crept over the demon's face. Maybe he could use this to his advantage. 

"How much do you want to continue reading?"  

"No-Crowley, not this conversation again!" Aziraphale began to pout. 

"One kiss!" Crowley exclaimed, almost too proudly. 

"Pardon?" 

"You heard me. That's the price for your precious little novel." 

Aziraphale raised his eyebrows. "Y'know if that's all you wanted in the first place. . ."  

He leaned over and planted a peck on Crowley's cheek. Not expecting to have succeeded so easily, he dropped the book in surprise and melted away into the corner of the sofa. Luckily, Aziraphale caught it just as it opened to the correct page, where he left off reading.   

"I really should increase the price next time."  

"Did you say something dear?" 

"Nothing!" Crowley yelped.   

The Next Day 

 Much to Aziraphale's dismay, Friday also held grey skies and heavy downpours. Crowley, on the other end of the emotional spectrum, was overjoyed. It meant more opportunities to yoink books away and demand 'payment'.  

"YOINK!"  

"What was that for? Wait, you're not-"  

"Five kisses!!!" Crowley almost shouted. 

Aziraphale sighed and happily obliged.  

Hours later, it was 8, then 10, 12, 16, 18, 23, 34. It got to a point where the two spent more time snogging than actually reading.  

"Dear, if this is what you wanted in the first place you could've just asked, you didn't have to hold my books hostage-" 

"Yeah, but where's fun in that?"  

~~~~~~

For the remainder of the rainy days that the Almighty had lined up, the couple was on cloud nine. 

(Yeah I was going to put 'felt like heaven' but if you're familiar with this fandom you know that is a terrible simile/metaphor)