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Do LaFzoon Ki Kahaani 💌

#Yes I Was Wrong -

It had been raining for more than a week, so much
rain it made everyday seemed so restless and gloomy.
She called and said she was coming up. It was the third
time she came up to see me that week. I carried her
excuse of why she came all the way here and went to
meet her at the nearby seven-eleven. She was standing
there alone, carrying her red umbrella. Her friend had
dropped her off. It was raining and she was shivering.
She looked weak and fragile in the harsh rain, wearing
not enough to keep her warm.
I walked up to her and said, "You shouldn't come see
me anymore," and stuff like how we shouldn't be
together.
She said, "I miss you."
I told her coldly, "Lets go, I'll take you home."
She did not open up her umbrella, I knew she wanted
to share mine.
I said, "Open up your umbrella, let's go."
Unwillingly, She opened up her umbrella and walked
with me to the car. She said she hadn't eat lunch or
dinner and asked if we could stop at some place to eat.
Right away I answered with a stoned heart, "No!"
Disappointed, she asked me to take her to the train
station, she said she would take the train back home.
Maybe it was the rain, all the trains were full of people
with umbrellas and suit cases who were eager to get
home, not caring about who just passed by. We waited
and waited, she looked at me innocently. Being
together for so long, of course I knew what she meant.
I understand how she must feel when she came all this
way here in this kind of weather and I treat her like
this. With her soft eyes staring at me, I felt guilt and
wanted to let her stay for the night.
But reality struck again, I said to her coldly, "Let's go
try the other train station."
We were living in the same apartment building, on the
same floor. Back then there were four of us, and we
got along well. We would always eat dinner together,
watch movies, and sometimes go camping. We were
more like a family, but I didn't know I would end up
falling in love with the only girl of the four. Maybe it
was during the last year of college, having living
together for two years, we developed deep feelings for
each other. After she graduated she went back home,
and I stayed for one more year to finish school. During
that year I was only able to take the train down to see
her on holidays, but never for long. That was how we
kept the treasured relationship.
We were walking along the side of the road. She was
in front of me and I was right behind her. Her
umbrella had a broken spoke. She looked liked a
wounded soldier, carrying her rusted rifle walking
weakly. Many times, she was too into thinking or
whatever she was doing, drifting off the road, she
almost got hit by the cars passing by. I wanted to just
take her in my arms, but with the love I had for her
and the constant pain in my stomach, I did nothing.
On the way, we passed by the park where we use to
always go.
She begged and said, "Lets go in the park just for a
little while please, I promise I'll go home right after
this."
With her begging, my cold heart softened, but I still
put up an annoyed face and walked in the park. I was
just sitting on the benches looking like I wanted to
leave. She went to the big oak tree and she was
looking for something. I knew she was looking for what
we wrote on that tree with a silver ink pen half a year
ago. If I remember it right, it said, "Chris and Susan
was here, Chris had tea and Susan was drinking hot
chocolate. Hope Chris and Susan would always
remember this day, always loving each other, forever."
She was looking around for quite a while, then she
came back slowly with tears on her face.
She said, "Chris, I can't find it, it's not there anymore."
I felt so sour inside, there was a stream of pain, flowing
into my heart, the kind of pain I've never felt before.
But all I could do was pretend I didn't care, and said,
"Can we go now?"
I opened up my big black umbrella, she was just
standing there, didn't want to leave yet, hoping there
was still a chance. She said, "You made up the story of
you and that other girl didn't you? I know I frustrate
you sometimes, but I'll change, can't we start over?"
I didn't say a word, just looked down and shook my
head. After that we just kept on walking towards the
train station, didn't say a word to each other.
Four years ago, the doctor said I had cancer, but it was
found early, so it was still curable. Thinking that it was
okay, I started living my normal life again, and even
forgot about the cancer. I didn't think about the cancer
again and did not go back to the doctor. Until a month
ago, my stomach was hurting for two weeks straight,
and the nightmare awakened me again. First I thought
the pain would go away, but it grew stronger until to
the point that I couldn't take it anymore. I went back
to the doctor and took an X-ray. The picture came out
and there was a big black spot, which proved the truth
that I did not want to believe. I was at the most
glittering part of my life, but it was coming to an end. I
wanted myself and the people around me to go through
the least pain possible, so I decided to commit suicide.
But I couldn't let people find out about my intentions,
especially Susan, the person I love the most in this
whole world, who still doesn't know about the truth.
Susan was still young, she shouldn't have to go through
this. So I made up some stories and lied to her. It was
a cruel thing to do, and it broke her heart, but it was
the fastest way to wipe out three years feelings. I
didn't have much time, because I would soon start to
loose hair and she would find out eventually. But now
I'm close to succeeding, this drama would soon be over.
Thirty minutes more this would all come to an end,
that was what I had in mind.
The train had stopped running so I called a taxi for
her. We were just standing there, waiting, loosing our
last moments in silence.
I saw the taxi from far away, I held my tears and said
to her, "Take care of yourself, take good care of
yourself."
She didn't talk, just nodded lightly, and then opened up
her misshaped umbrella and stepped out on the street.
Out in the rain, we became two single life forms, one
red, one black, so far away from each other. I opened
the door for her and she got in, then I close the gate
that would separate me from her forever. I stood by
the car, staring in the dark window, at the first love in
my life, also the last one, walking out of my life. The
car started, driving into the street. Finally I couldn't
hold my sorrow and the twist in my heart any longer,
waving my arms rapidly chasing after the taxi, because
I knew, this would be the last time I see her. I wanted
to tell her I still love her, I wanted to tell her to stay, I
wanted to tell her so much, but the taxi had already
turned in the corner. Warm tears kept falling down my
face, blended with the cold rain drops. I was cold, not
because of the rain. I was cold inside.
She left, and I didn't get anymore of her phone calls
even until today. I know she didn't see my tears,
because they were washed away by the rain. I left
without regrets. But I'm not Chris, I'm that girl Susan,
using my memory, and his diary I found after one year
since he left, writing down these last words