dear lily,
its been a while. whatever, im sorry.
i havent eaten in three days. and the apartment is a wreck. i dont know why theres glass all over the living room floor or drops of blood in the kitchen, but i dont feel like cleaning it up.
these letters aren't helping at all, yknow.
i fall asleep, expecting to wake up with a reply from you.
and it never comes.
or i'll fall asleep and wake up at four in the morning with sweat on my forehead and burning red scratches on my cheeks, and i wont be able to pass out again.
you're driving me crazy.
i wish you were alive,
actually, i wish i didn't even know who you were.
because if i didnt know who you were i wouldn't have to go 24 hours listening to your voice on repeat in my head---
oh, thats another thing.
i hear you. all the time.
like, i can hear your voice. I'll go for a drink and i can hear you saying "dont do that, peter" or i'll try and buy another pack of cigarettes and i can practically hear your sigh
but i can hear you best when you're calling for me
literally, calling. saying my name and trying to get my attention. do you think i'd be happier with you, lily?
its either you come back, or i have to join you.
we'll see.
peter
YOU ARE READING
letters to lily ;
Random' and i am writing these because i don't have any idea what to do with the thoughts of you that still linger in my head--'
