I don't mean to be dramatic, I don't find myself always returning to this position, but I realise this is how I cope with these types of situations. The amount of food I consume differs each day, the amount of sleep I get depends if I can shut my mind off for even a few seconds. I turn my phone off for long periods of time, to the point where my friends think I've disappeared. I need to do these things to settle. The confusion and hurt inside my brain isn't worth talking about. If I confine in one of my friends, which I often do, it always heightens what's going on. If I deal with how I feel like this; hide my insecurities and emotions and quietly be on my own, then that's easier than bothering someone else who probably has their own mind games to deal with. I often change my mind very fast so what's the point of sharing something that I won't care about tomorrow. Although my well thought out plans work out in my favour, it does get lonely.
In conclusion, when dealing with a broken heart. It's better to immerse yourself with yourself, hate yourself until you figure out how to love yourself. Pick yourself back up and act as though it never happened.
Music is a well known distraction. For the first day or two sad, relatable songs or albums are a must, get all of them out of the way early, hit the replay button as much as you can, so in the future if they come on it won't affect you. Personally I suggest Alec Benjamin. You'll lay in your bed with your tub of ice cream or stack of chocolate staring at the wall but not actually seeing it, contemplating what you should have done, or replaying every good thing that happened, overthinking all the mixed messages you received and wonder why. After the two days is up you'll start listening to different music, most likely Beyoncé, the type of music that says 'I'm sad that you're gone but I'm better off without you' This is also the time where I stop eating so much and start to feel good about myself again. I turn my phone back on and message my friends back, pretending that I was just sleeping so much and my charger broke. A lie I use too often. Even though no one knows how you've just been feeling and what you've been through, you get up, go out and walk around like you're a new person. Even though you are exactly the same. Maybe just with a higher laugh and movie like smile. Inevitably you'll see the person that caused this again, and either you'll go back and start the cycle again, or you'll have grown. The first is always easier said than done.
Self inflicted pain is usually the hardest to get over. When you know someone is using you but you can't seem to pull yourself away from the situation because no matter how much it hurts when you're alone with the person, it doesn't feel like they're using you, it feels real.
