Daily Diary of Life

Soul Ties

Created: 11/28/19

Dear Diary,

So it's been a while since I had sex with Kason and I've been just thinking about him so much. Like I really want him, but at the same time I think he too good for me. To me he is fines asf and he give me chills everytime I think of him or someone mention him. I wish that I could stop thinking about him all the time. I was talking to meekslimm about him and the way that i feel and how I don't want to feel that way. She said maybe it's just Soul Ties. So I went to searching looking it up on Google and it came up. The only reason I looked it up is so I could know if it was mutual between the two peopl involved. Well, I didn't get that far in my research. Anywho, while I was talking to her about how I feel I was tearing up. I don't understand where the tears was coming from or why they was just coming from nowhere. I believe soul ties are real now

Not to say that I'm a hoe or anything but I've had sex with at least 4 people and felt nothing afterwards. With him and anyone else it was JUST SEX. I can't help but feel for him. I am emotionally attracted to a dude that I barely know. So, I honestly believe that soul ties are real because I honestly don't want to feel any way about him, but it just comes from nowhere. Meekslimm encouraged me to go for what I want but I didn't tell her I can't because I don't want to feel like I'm obsessed with him. I don't feel like it because I'm afraid of embarrassment and afraid of being let down.

I've been let down so many times before and if it happen again I might break. FYI I'm not soft asf it's just everybody has feelings and everyone don't keep thei feelings inside. If he was to ever fwm I'll have a change of heart. I'd never go back to my old ways. But I personally don't think a dude would ever fw a girl who sucked up the whole team. Well not literally the whole team but 3 other people would personally be enough. Anyways, Happy Thanksgiving to anyone who's reading this. I was at my peoples how since 3 o'clock pm and left at 10:30. I don't really fw them people like that cuz they be fake asf but yea. Back to soul ties. 

If "Soul Ties" are mutual that would explain why he been staring at me and I might've misheard my name in a conversation he was having with his dudes. BUt every since our experience I've been acting different at school. and talking different. I also been avoiding lots of contact if his person in general. I have a undercover love for him that I wish wasn't there. I guess that's what it feels like when your Soul's Tied.

Sincerely,

Bellvedere Rose