That's What She Said

3. Again

I'm not new to love.

No, I've never experienced it, but I watched from the shadows as people became helplessly, utterly in love.

How their smile was a little wider around the partner, how their eyes shone a little brighter.

I watched as they created their own story - their own happily ever after - some with a family and kids, others happy with one another. Doing even the most stupid thing to make their significant other laugh, to put a smile on their face - even if it was temporary.

I watched from the shadows as people fell in love.

Until one day I stepped out from the shadows and started looking for my own love.

I found no one.

I looked desperately trying to find the person I would spend the rest of my life with.

Crushes developed but simply faded into nothing.

I was alone.

Until I reached a point where I had fallen for someone who had barely acknowledged my presence.

Loved by all, I didn't stand a chance so I melted back in to the shadows to watch again.

To watch him dance, sometimes slowly, sometimes gracefully - never letting how he truly felt show.

I watched once as he whispered about me to one of his friends, a glance of disapproval shining in their covered eyes.

And I was alone.

And I realized how much it hurt to watch as somebody danced as the sun of your galaxy, when you were nothing but a simple star in theirs.

And I was alone.

Again.

And again.

And again.

And again.

The feeling of rejection similar to the feeling of falling on concrete.

Except those scraped knees were a lot easier to fix than the internal damage done.

The stinging feeling of loneliness one often hard for a person to bear forever.

But I tried.

Hopeful for that one day when I would meet the person who I was destined for.

It's been years and I still haven't.

And I find myself alone.

again.

~*~
Honestly? It b like that sometimes