Saving each other.

Nineteen

Harry's POV
He actually wants to marry me some day. Like for real. I'm aware this isn't a real proposal or that we aren't engaged or anything but in this moment right here, right now I don't care I just want my Lou.
"Morni'n Hazza," Louis says to me.
"Good morning lou," I smile back.
"The media is going absolutely ballistic about the confirmation of Larry Stylinson," he laughed.
"Them and I both." I lean in for a small kiss.
We are still in bed and my arms are wrapped around Lou. It's still crazy to me how management is allowing this. It seems like only last week when I'd wake up alone while Louis was of with Elenor.
"Hey Hazza?" Louis asks.
"Yeah?"
"It's been almost two months that Elenor and I 'split' and you've had me all to yourself for good, I mean like without the fear of anything happening. So, um, basically I was wondering... do you still, yah know, cut your self? I mean we haven't really done anything intimate since you've been out, and i'm not saying sex is everything about a relationship, but is that because we've just been genuinely busy or because you don't want me to see you? Come on Haz, I held up my end of our little deal, it's been almost a year since, I just need to know. Please, I love you." He confesses while sound quite concerned.
Cut. Cutting. Elenor. Louis. Oh Harry, you didn't think I was gone did you? Foolish boy i'll always be here? You know why? Because you're WORTHLESS, completely and utterly worthless. You don't deserve someone as great as Louis, ha! What makes you even think such things? You are a freak and are un earning of love or happiness. Louis gonna be very disappointed that you're still, well you know... doing what is only deserved of you. But who cares, obviously not him if he's only asking you now. And the fact of the matter is that he's only asking you right now because he wants to have sex, not because he loves or cares for you, oh Harry... how could you be so foolish? Now go on, tell him, I would say break his heart, but I think we both know his heart ain't even in this sweetheart.
"Harry?" Louis says snapping his fingers in my face.
"Huh?"
"Babe you've been staring off into the abyss for the last minute or two, please just tell me I have nothing to worry about, you're starting to scare me."
"Lou I-" I sigh
What's the point if I lie, he'll hate me, if I tell the truth, he'll hate me.
"I made that deal to protect you, you didn't deserve what you were doing to yourself, and now that you stopped, you don't need me anymore"
"Harry what are you talking about? WE will always need to protect each other, that is not a one sided job. I'm not some broken doll that you fixed and am ready to give away, Harry I'm a real person, your person. And you're mine. That deal was to protect each other, please Harry, please tell me that I didn't fail at protecting you." He started to tear up.
"I'm sorry Lou." I whispered.
A look of shock yet anger, fear disappointment and sadness grew upon Louis face.
"Why Harry?" He was now crying.
"Like I told you the first time, you deserve better. I simply can't do that for you. And these thoughts in my head, they won't shut up Lou, they won't shut up! The only way to make them stop is the only way I know how. And I'm sorry Lou I really am sorry to disappoint you, it wouldn't be the first time. So how about you go find someone new?
Go find someone that you deserve, some one who isn't broken and crazy. Maybe then you'll realize that you never did actually love me."
"Harry what the actual fuck?! Harry baby I love you, and I don't deserve better, you're the best they come, and the one for me. I know that in my heart. I wouldn't have given you that ring if I didn't truly believe that. Please Hazza, come back to me. I'm so sorry I did't see what was happening right in front of my face. This is partly my fault, for not checking in on you. I only assumed since I was better, that you were better. I will do whatever it takes Harry, whatever it takes to make you feel loved, and to make you happy again. Now, can you please show me?" Louis pleads.
I take of my long sleeved shirt. I've only worn long sleeved shirts or had a jacket on for a while. I told the others it was to hid the past, and they got it. Only if they truly knew.
"This is me, the fucked up boy you chose."
Louis starts to sob uncontrollably. This makes me start crying. He looks at me all over and starts to kiss my scars, all of them.
"You're not fucked up, just a little lost. Harry please, I know this will be hard to stop, but please promise me that you will talk to me at least?"
"I promise Lou." And for the first time, I mean it.
He continues to kiss me and has made his way down my stomach.
"Mmh Lou that-"
I start to feel myself grow and the pleasure builds and the get's closer.
He smiles and continues, "mmh you like that Hazza?" He said with a smirk.
I could feel Louis growing since he was on top of me. He starts to slowly grind on me. We both let out pleasurable moans.
"Fuck mmh Louis, please, mmh," I start moaning more and more as he gies faster.
Soon he stops and takes of my boxers, he flips me over and get's me ready. We've never actually done this before, I mean we've done other things but not this.
"Is is it okay if-"
"Mmh fuck Louis please!"
I feel a slight burn and grab on to the sheets. Then all of a sudden a burst of pleasure takes over my body.
"Faster Lou"
Faster and faster he goes, he goes deeper and deeper when all of a sudden he hits the spot.
"Fuck ahh there, again, harder mmmh"
He thrusts again and again.
"Fuck Louis I'm gonna-"
He quickly pulls out and flips me over we climax together. We lay there for a bit and I fall asleep with Lou on me.