Ever since New York || Larry

Tell me something I don't already know

Quick Disclaimer:
All of the events are completely invented, the people nominated aren't related to real people, I don't claim any right on those people and I just wish them the best. This story came randomly to me one day and I thought it was not awful, please have mercy on my English as it is not my first language.  And yes the photo is completely random.

This said, enjoy
_sweetcreature

I was alone, all by myself except for my bed.
The only source of illumination came from the light on the nightstand, so small but yet so powerful.

I stared blankly at the wall almost waiting for an answer to all my unspoken questions that obviously wasn't coming.
I don't know why I was even excepting for one, it was a ceiling after all.

I began shivering.
It seemed like I was always too hot or too cold, even my body wasn't adjusting to loneliness.

It was the cold ,that time, taking over me, I thought while covering my legs with the soft blanket laying besides me.

My brain couldn't form any coherent thought, I had just a word ingrained in big bold letters, staring back at me.
NEVER
That was the same answer they were always giving me. Us.
To never express ourselves, to never be happy, to never be free, to never come out.

When I first signed those papers I didn't understand what the big deal was, what the fuss was all about.
I thought that hiding and lying was truly the best answer and that we would be happy anyway.
Everything seemed easier and simpler back then.

I was young, hopelessly in love and blinded by it

Everything seemed absolutely perfect but it later resulted in nothing but getting my heart shattered. 
I trusted them with my life but I trusted him with it even more.
He always seemed fine with our contract and when later I confronted him about it he shrugged it off like dust on his shoulders.
He said he had everything he could have ever hoped for, his family, his beloved music and his lover. Her.
That's what she was at the end of the day, I later discovered. How foolish of me.

Too young, to dumb.

Thinking back on the situation made me extremely sad.
Tears started rushing and streaming down my cheeks, couldn't stop them for the life of me.
They were quickly soaking the mattress I was laying on and, with a broken sob, I gave up and collapsed ultimately on the white sheets.

They smelt of him, of his cologne.

That  didn't make things any better. My eyes started to redden from the dried tears and me harshly rubbing on them.
I was tired, tired of lying, tired of living, tired of being me and just me.  Sleep suddenly started having the best on me and I began fighting the instinct of closing my eyes to rest.
My mouth was dry, limbs were sore and heavy, my breath steady but quick.

As I was starting to fall asleep I felt a weight dipping down on the bed. All of the sudden I had a warm body towering over me.
I couldn't help but try to get closer, snuggle underneath it even more.
How stupid of me

My eyes were closed shut and my breath started to quicken.
He probably thought I was having trouble sleeping and he gently shushed me and lulled me to sleep with his sweet words, sugary lies.

His phone started ringing and he sleeplessly answered

It's late, love. I'll call you back tomorrow

That's what he said

She was giving him everything I couldn't, the life he desired.

My heart ached at the thought

Love doesn't always win