Recovery And Magic

5

*Content Warning.  Scene of  Panic Attack and Talks of  Of Self Harm*

Alright!" Ian clapped, cracking the air. "So before we get started, let's talk about where magic comes from."

I looked down at my feet and back up to the chipper man. The metal rod prickling my hands. "Um...me?"

He nodded, chuckling. "Well, you're not wrong. It comes out of you. But the source comes from your emotions."

This place is supposed to make me feel better right?

Ian raised his right hand and flicked his thumb. Droplets of water began to pour out from the tip of it. Hovering in the air as they gathered, forming into a small ball. Waves rolling inside of it, crashing into the invisible walls that trapped it.

"Magic is sensitive," Ian explained, his smile softening. His eyes fixating on the ball of water. "It's sheltered inside our bodies. Not knowing what the world is like. Dependent on how we feel to understand what's happening. When we're calm and at peace, it's easy to control."

Ian's right hand flattened and moved to the left. The water in the sphere settled, pouring out from the ball. The running water expanded across his shoulders. The blue jasper liquid was clear enough for my reflection to show up a little. Dirt and grease caked over my face, enough to hide some burn marks. Matted brown hair knotted around my neck to act as a scarf. Scarred mud-brown eyes staring back at me. The reflection churned my stomach the longer I looked at it.

"But when we're distressed." Ian continued, dropping his smile.

He curled his forefinger and the water turned into a sickly green. The surface boiling as needles poked out the surface. The water twitching as it scrunched itself together, squirming as the needles had eaten away the remaining liquid. The needles uncurling itself and showed off its new form. A makeshift lion, baring out its barbed fangs roaring at me. Spurts of the boiling green water dripping off its lower jaw.

A splash of numbness crashed into my palms as I watched the needle lion growled at me. I took a step back as the rest of my body tried to run. My hands gripped themselves around the metal wand. Trying to get the cold surface to wash away the specks of heat building underneath my palm.

"It thinks we're in danger." Ian sighed, watching the creature stomp over his hand. "So it acts on its own. To protect us. Not knowing that the real danger is us. So we have to take care of ourselves. So it knows we're safe."

Ian cracked one of his knuckles and the needle monster froze. The thing fell, turning into a ball of cotton as it rolled into the air. Fading away until nothing was left. Ian looked back at me, flicking on his neutral smile. "Make sense?"

I nodded, wiggling my fingers to regain feeling. "Yeah."

My right hand gripped the wand tighter while my left hand clasped my wrist. Doing all I could to cut off the throbbing veins building underneath the skin.

Ian clapped his hands together, the sound jolting my left hand to let go of my wrist. "Okay! So, first thing I want you to do is take a deep breath."

"W-why?"

"It helps center yourself. You wanna be grounded as much as possible when casting spells. Your fingers are starting to get numb, right?"

My right-hand loosened its grip around the wand. "Yeah..."

"Some people call it 'The build'. Magic is building up inside of you because it's going off what you're feeling. So we gotta breathe out some of that excess so it doesn't explode outside of us. So breathe in...."