Trapped

chapter 16

Chapter 16

           I know what I’m going to do. I have to. I have no other choice. I have to leave.

           I came to this conclusion as I was finding my way back to the cafeteria. I wandered farther than I thought. It took me whole hour to finally make it back to familiar territory. I am currently standing in the hallway leading to the cafeteria. The same cafeteria full of the only people I have left in the world, but then again they are also the people that only see me as the girl that can blow people’s heads off with her mind. There are still some that have fear gleaming in their eyes whenever they look at me. They are afraid of me, and I hate it. I don’t want to hurt people. It just happens to be something I’m quite good at.

              I don’t want to go in there and see the muscles in their faces tighten even in the slightest bit. So I’ll just stay out here, alone, where I won’t make anyone uncomfortable. I lie down on the cold floor and close my eyes. I will leave tomorrow.

~

             The next morning my entire frame is stiff with resolve as I stride confidently into the cafeteria. I stop a few feet into the doorway and scan the room for the familiar faces of Sam, Ari and Seth. I have gotten to know Seth a lot better over these past few weeks and he and Ari have gotten a lot closer too. I spot the three of them grouped together on the other side of the room, as I make my way over to them I try to think of what I’m going to say.  The whole thinking of something to say thing was a complete waste because my mouth was still devoid of words as I walked up to them.

            I was still a few feet away when Sam spotted me and relief splattered his face like paint. He ran the rest of the way to me and caught me up in his arms, lifting me off of the ground. I buried my face in his shoulder and griped fistfuls of his shirt, I breathed in his scent hoping this wouldn’t be the last time I felt his body against mine.

           He slid me back down to the ground. His expression now consisted of relief, worry, and anger. “I-we were so worried about you!” he tried to cover up his mistake but I caught it anyway.

           “I’m sorry.” I say sincerely, “I just needed…. Some time alone… to think.”

            As soon as my comment left my mouth Ari was pushing past Sam to wrap her own thin arms around me. I was at least half a head taller than her so that made Sam and Seth, who were the same height, a whole head and a half taller than her. She was also quite thin so when she pulled back I could clearly see the contrast between her and Seth. He had longish blonde hair and blue eyes while Ari had dark brown hair and brown eyes. I have to admit, they do look good together, I guess opposites really do attract.

            They were all three harboring the same look of relief and it makes a pang of guilt shoot through me at what I’m about to say. I swallow the lump in my throat, “I’m leaving.” I blurt.

            There go the looks of relief. Now they all share the same look that consists of three pairs of wide eyes and three gaping mouths.

           All at the same time they say “You can’t go out there by yourself!” (Ari) “Whywould you want to do that?” (Seth) “Like hell you are!” (Sam).

           Their comments provoke me to cross my arms over my chest and raise my chin defiantly. “I am. And you can either come with me or you can stay and I will go alone.” My voice is a lot steadier then I would’ve imagined.

            “I’m in.” (Seth) “When do we leave?” (Ari) “I’m coming with you.” (Sam)

            “I want to come too.” I jump at the sound of a voice behind me. I whip around and come face to face with none other than Diana. Now I’m the one with the wide eyes and gaping mouth.

              “But- why?” I stutter.

                She shrugs her slim shoulders, scowls as she says, “There’s nothing better to do around here.” Then she turns on her heel and struts off.

~

               Sam is standing in the middle of the room with all eyes on him. He is announcing our leaving. My palms are slick with sweat and my bottom lip is wedged between my teeth as I chew on it nervously. He’s saying that anyone is welcome to join us but no one else raises their hand. So in all it would be me, Sam, Ari, Seth, Diana. Two boys, three girls. Five people in all.

              The next couple of hours are a blur of goodbye hugs, packing food, packing supplies, there were even a few tears among friends. I fell disconnected from the rest of my body as I go through the motions of putting food in a burlap sack.

             I jump when warm fingers skim my back. I whip around and find my face mere inches from Sam’s. My heartbeat immediately speeds up and my breaths come quicker. I can’t help but think that he’s doing this on purpose, to make me flustered. “Time to go.” He whispers, a small smile tugging at one side of his mouth and then he’s gone.

             I’m standing at the base of the pyramid that would be my gateway to freedom. I look to my right at Sam and to my left at Ari. Sometimes I feel completely and utterly alone in the world but then I look at the two most important people I have left. With a straight back, raised chin, and my burlap sack thrown over my shoulder I walk confidently the rest of the way to the pyramid and begin climbing up it. My hands become slick with sweat as I approach the very top. I secure the rope that Sam handed me a few minutes earlier. I will probably never come back to this place so I take one last glance over my shoulder at the place that sheltered me for the time I’ve been in this broken, shattered world. One last glance and I begin my descent down the rope.

          My hands burn as I make my way down to the earth. My muscles begin to tremble with the effort it takes to support the weight of my body with nothing but my arms. My feet touch the ground right as I think I can’t move another inch. I walk away from the rope and the building it’s dangling out of.

              My hands are shaking so I clench them into fists to conceal the weakness that is the trembling of my pale fingers. I lean against the wall of the compound that I have chosen to leave behind. I press my forehead to its cool surface. So strong, I think. I bet this building has been here for decades, maybe even centuries, and it is still standing as strong as ever. This one wall has suffered through the worst of humanity and yet it still stands. It has gone through so many hardships but it is still standing. I want to be strong like this wall. I will be.