But all your flaws and scars are mine

Chapter 4

Four days. Four fucking days.

That's how long it's been since I've seen Sansa and I'm fucking miserable.

Fuck.

I haven't spoken to her either. No matter what Bronn said, I couldn't bring myself to reach out. Any confidence that had been trying to grow within me dissipated more every day that I wasn't with Sansa, until it vanished completely.

Add in no sleep since Monday night and I know I'm meaner and grumpier than ever. How the hells has this girl taken such a hold on me already? I feel as if I'm wandering aimlessly without her.

It's only five in the morning but I get up and grab my shit for the day and head to the gym. Perks of owning the place, I can open it when I bloody want.

I work out until the usuals come in for their pre-work sessions and crowd me. At least showering here means I have no desire to jerk off. Unlike every other day this week, sometimes twice, at home, when Sansa would commandeer all my thoughts.

Stomping into my office, after getting coffee and breakfast, I'm relieved Osha nor Bronn are in yet. I've been shite company this week and even if I feel like crap for it, I can't drag myself out of this hole.

And I've been here more than usual. I found any and every excuse to leave my flat everyday, at all times of day, in the hopes I would bump into her. Too bad I'm not that bloody lucky.

Today I'll get to speak to Sansa at least. I have to. I promised to take her to Notting Hill to the market tomorrow. She may not want to go anymore and that's fin-...it is what it is, but I won't let her down.

As soon as it's an acceptable time of day, I rub my sweaty palms along my jeans and then pick up my phone, that squeezing nonsense going on in my gut again. Damn butterflies....

Sandor: Hi Sansa. How was your week?

Can I shoot myself? "How was your week?" Why is writing a simple message so fucking difficult when it comes to her?

Those thoughts are chased away when I hear my phone vibrate.

Sansa ✨ : Hey you! 😊 It's been okay, lots of editing and strongly worded emails. I thought of what you said to me and stood my ground.

The first smile in four days crosses my face as I read and reread her message.

Sansa ✨ : How about yours?

Shit, utter and total shit without you. That's what I want to say.

Sandor: Good, glad I could help.

Sandor: Same shit different day. Happy to see the weekend.

That's all I end up saying. She can take the last part as she wants...