ALWAYS THERE

Part 5

I: (talking to herself) 2 saal ho gaye main India mein apna sab kuchh peechhe chhod kar New York aa gayi. Yahan ke log, yahan ki baatein, yahan ka culture apnane ki poori koshish ki. Iss naye sheher ne toh mujhe apna liye. Lekin jo maine apne parivaar ke saath kiya, usko bhulake kisi nayi baat ko apnana mere liye namumkeen hain.
I caused them tremendous pain. Shayad har pal mujhe koste honge. Lekin jis dard se maine unhe bachaya hain, uske liye main guilty nahi hoon. Aaj shayad main khush nahi hoon, lekin contended hoon. Mujhe pata hain mera faisla sahi tha.

Saying so, she hugged herself. Looking at the beautiful sunset, she was reminiscing the moments spent with Raman and her family.

-IN THE EVENING

Raman came home tired and exhausted due to a hectic day at office.

R: Madrasan, mujhe coffee de na...

Neelu: Bhaiyya, main doon coffee?

R: (out of his trance) Haan, haan, de de. Thodi strong bana.

He entered his room and threw himself on the bed. After having coffee, he opened the wardrobe to pick a fresh pair of night clothes when his eyes fell on a silver jewellery box.
Cautious of his moves, he took the box in his hand and opened it so carefully as if his life resided in it. And there lay his soul, his happiness, his ultimate peace bare in front of his tearful eyes.
The box was full of Ishita's belongings-her earrings, her hairclips, her bindis, her pictures. And at the bottom was a piece of paper. The paper which broke Raman-Ishita's happy world to pieces; which shattered Raman to the core. The letter which Ishita wrote before leaving Raman and chooding Subbu over him.

With brimming eyes he opened the letter and traced his fingers over its words. He started reading the letter. He knew every word of it. He had read it almost everyday after Ishita left him. It was his daily ritual to calm his wrecked nerves down, to soothe his pain the littlest bit. He knew the letter by heart. Yet, every time he tried to decipher a new meaning out of it, a new dimension to his betrayal.

And he started reading it.

Hi Raman,

I hope aap ye letter mere jaane ke baad padh rahe ho. Sabse pehle toh I am very very sorry for causing you so much pain. Main jaanti hoon ye letter padhne ke baad aap shayad meri shakal nahi dekhna chahoge, shayad phir aap ki zubaan par mera naam nahi hoga. Lekin mujhe ye sab kehna padega Raman.

Main aapko chhod ke Subbu ke saath jaa rahi hoon. Yes, you read it right. I am going with Subbu. I know humara rishta kaafi aage badh chuka tha. Lekin Raman, ye baat aapko bhi manani padegi ki woh humesha se adhoora tha. Humari shaadi Ruhi ki khushi ke liya kiya gaya ek compromise tha. Pyaar... pyaar tha humare beech. Lekin woh Ruhi aur Adi ke Ishima-Papa banane tak seemit tha. I don't think hum sahi mayne mein kabhi usse aage badhe hain.

Jis raat mein emergency ke liye clinic gayi, uss raat Subbu mujhse milne aaya tha wahan pe. He actually highlighted all the chinks in our marriage. And I realised that he was right. Hum ek hi chhat ke neeche, ek hi kamre mein, ek hi bed pe sote the Raman. Phir bhi humare beech kuchh nahi hua. Because we lacked that passion Raman. I agree we loved each other, but as two good human beings. Not as spouses. We terribly lacked that. Aur uss raat maine faisla liya ki mujhe Subbu ke saath jaana hain. Hum dono adhoore the, lekin ek doosre ke liye jo feelings thi humare dil mein woh poori tarah khatam nahi hui thi.

Raman, rishte pyaar ke liye banate hain, aur pyaar ke liye hi tootate hain. Main Ruhi-Adi se bohot pyaar karti hoon, but that doesn't mean ki mujhe taumra nakhush, unsatisfied rehna chahiye. I am sure aap ek unhappy wife, ek unhappy maa, aur ek unhappy bahu nahi chahate ho apne saath. Ruhi aur Adi sambhal jayenge. Poora parivaar unhe sambhal lega. Aap apna khayal rakhiye. Aur ho sak etoh please dobara pyaar kijiye. Iss baar kisi aisi ladki se jo aapko pyaar aur passion dono de paaye. Koi aisi ladki jo aapko ko sahi maayne mein accept karein aur aapke layak ho.

All the best Raman!

Ishita.

Raman was used to crying every time he read the letter. The feeling of dizziness, fatigue and inexplicable heartbreak over and over again was a norm to him now. Sleeping himself to tears and waking up with a jolt in the middle of night howling and searching for Ishita frantically on the bed was his daily practice. And that's what he did today as well. Slept with memories of Ishita all over him; all around him.

-IN NEW YORK

-MORNING TIME

Ishita walked up to the breakfast table freshly bathed and dressed up for the day.

I: Good morning Subbu!

S: Good morning Ishu! Kal raat ko bhi roke soyi na. Aankhein bata rahi hain tumhari.

I: Subbu, now that's my life. Unn logon ko to chhoda hain, lekin unki yaadein...

S: (keeps his hand on hers) Cheer up Ishu. Tum jaanti ho sab kya hua, kaisa hua.

I: Thank you Subbu! Jitna saath tumne diya hain, koi aur hota toh pata nahi main kya karti.

S: I am always there for you.

I: Thank you!