This is going to be a very long chapter so I hope you guys aren't too bored with this chapter because I spent a lot of time on this. also characters here are more mature and might seem out of character. if you don't like that, skip this story and don't complain please. thank you <3
YOUR TOUCH IS SOMETHING
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IM COMPLETELY OBSESSED WITH
It's fear... That paralyzing feeling that is triggered and spreads throughout the body when sensing danger. It feels like shackles that are locked tightly around Eddie's arms that he cannot get rid of and it hurts him so much. His muscles are frozen into place, but are filled with a tingling pressure that makes him want to run back home. He doesn't know what to do and that terrifies him.
Now time feels like it passes by slowly, as if everything is running in slow motion for Eddie. One moment he was trying his hardest not to think about all the bacteria that the restaurant could be filled with, then the next he's in the men's restroom trying his hardest not to vomit from the overwhelming thoughts he had.
Adrenaline flooded through Eddie's veins. His breathing became more erratic while his hands trembled uncontrollably at his sides. The thoughts of the bacteria spreading all over his body and turning him rotten accelerates inside his mind. He wants to slow them down, to put them at rest, but they just won't. He struggled to breathe and when he looked at himself in the mirror, he felt so pathetic. Watching the tears spill through his puffy eyes made him want to cry even harder.
Eddie really hated himself. He hated how he couldn't be a normal person, hated how he couldn't sleep at night till he knew that he sanitized himself well, hated how he couldn't leave the house without wearing gloves, and the list just goes on for so much longer. The one thing that he despised the most about himself was how he ruined everyone's fun.
Today, he decided to come to the restaurant with a few colleagues because he thought he could handle it. Now, he's having a panic attack in the men's restroom. He's scared of what his colleagues were thinking, were they worried or did they think he was a nuisance?
Waves of helplessness starts to hit Eddie once again from thinking about that. Tears streamed against his face like a flooding river, staining his cheeks red.
He cares a lot about what people think about him. Judgement is also another thing that is so scary to him. He remembers all those times when he heard the nasty whispers behind his back calling him weird names and that he's a nuisance. Not that he likes it, but it's better for him to be alone, so he did not have to deal with people.
Loneliness. A feeling that Eddie is very familiar with. He has never felt the warmth of another's hand in so long. Nor has he felt any physical action in forever. Though, If it were to happen one day, Eddie is not too sure if he would even like it. Would it feel nice or would he be completely disgusted?
