The Secret Life of Hakase

Another Peaceful Day

One fine day in Tokisadame, Professor Shinonome sat outside in the garden, admiring her flowers. Nano, the Professor's finest creation, an android of superior design, was watering them, the sunlight creating a rainbow through the mist. Professor Shinonome turned her attention back to her drawing, her absolute favourite hobby. She was perfecting a sketch of a blue shark, her absolute favourite marine animal. Mister Sakamoto, the family cat, sauntered up to the Professor as she worked. "Hey, kid," he said. The red scarf he wore around his neck gave him the ability to speak, another of Shinonome's inventions.

"What are you doing?" he went on.

"What are you doing?" replied the Professor.

"I asked first, you brat!"

"I asked first, you brat!" She laughed, mocking him.

"Are you mocking me?" the cat shouted.

"Are you mocking me?" mocked the girl.

Mr. Sakamoto let out an annoyed sigh and walked off, defeated. "Why do I even bother?" he muttered. Professor Shinonome chuckled smugly and continued with her drawing. At the same moment, Nano the robot finished tending the garden and wrapped up the hose. "Hakase," Nano called out the Professor's nickname, "could you bring the laundry out here to dry? It's in the washing machine."

Hakase pondered the thought, but as she was highly invested in her artwork, she answered, "I'm afraid I'm a bit too busy with my research at the moment."

"What?" Nano questioned, "you're just drawing! That's not research at all."

Hakase hummed as she coloured her shark. Exasperated, but adamant, Nano walked up to the cheerful girl. "If you don't help me right now, I won't make your favourite dinner tonight like you wanted," she threatened. A wave of panic washed over the young inventor; she wanted the omurice she asked Nano to make, her absolute favourite dish. She took Nano's threat seriously and ran madly to the washing machine. Opening the lid, Hakase realised that the clothes were fairly damp, and so as to not soil her clothes, she went to put on her rain slicker. Upon her laundry-less return to the study, the android scolded, "What did I just say?"

"The clothes are wet, and I don't want to get wet, so I'm getting my raincoat!" Hakase fussed. Her raincoat looked like a frog--it was green with two eyes on its hood.

"This seems a bit excessive; you're wasting time!" Nano protested. "I want those clothes to dry before the sun goes down, okay? Hurry!"

"I am," said the Professor, pulling her arm through the second sleeve. "It's Sakamoto's fault that the clothes are still wet!"

The cat was nowhere to be found so he could not defend himself, but he would have said, "How is it my fault that the laundry is still damp? I'm not the washing machine!"

Finally dressed for the occasion, Hakase tromped back to the washer to remove the clothes and at last brought them to Nano so she could hang them to dry. "Honestly," Nano sighed, "you can be such a pain sometimes," she gently smiled. Hakase laughed, embarrassed. "Well, what shall we do until dinnertime?" asked Nano.

"Let's play!" said Hakase, excitedly. "Let's play 'Push-the-Button'!"

"Wait, wait!" Nano yelled, "I think I know what that means. What did you install--"

"Ready?" the Professor interrupted, "Three, two, one!" Click! Hakase held a remote in her hands and depressed a large button. Suddenly, Nano's left arm popped open, revealing a kendo practice sword, which then extended to its full length.

"Why did you install yet another bizarre function?" cried Nano, hopeless.

"Bam!" Hakase beamed, landing a sudden hit on Nano's head with her own kendo sword and letting out a bellowing laugh. Nano's eyes filled with rage and frustration towards the girl. This was the umpteenth time that Hakase had added a useless, unnecessary, aggravating function to her hardware without her knowledge; she had had enough.