STAY: The Untold Story of Jenlisa (FanFic)

Chapter 21

"I wanted to heal, but my heart won't let me"-Author

*Lisa's POV*

Mom, tell me, all of this are just nightmare, right? This isn't real. Right? Mom, I can't lose her. Not now. Not forever. We promised to get married. We promised to build our home, our family. Mom, we promised we'll grow old together. Please, mom", my tears began to flow again while punching my bed. I'm being hysterical. While mom calms me down and hugged me

"Your body guards saw you passed out in the airport. They called a private doctor and take you in the hotel, it's good i'm already in my way coming here. The doctor said you're tired and cried a lot, you lose all your strength that's why you passed out", mom stated. "Darling, I know its hard to accept, for now. But you can heal very soon. It takes time", mom said and kissed my forehead.

"Mom, I guess i'll never get over about Nini. You know how much I love her mom, you know how much I fight for her to her dad", i'm saying these words while i'm crying out loud. "I hope everything is just a nightmare, I wanna wake up soon and hug my baby. I wanna wake up and be brave now to tell the world she's my girlfriend", I added but can't stop crying.

I was startled when someone knock on my door so loudly. I woke up with these tears again. With that nightmare again which I keep dreaming since that day. Since the day I lost the love of my life. I already woke up a lot of times, but still you're not here. I kept being slapped by reality that you're gone. I miss you so much, my Jennie Kim.

Its been 3 years today since I lost you but the pain feels like yesterday. Mom saw me crying yesterday because my memories of you came back when I saw someone eating mandu. Yes, who would've thought my memories of you will flashback just by seeing someone eating mandu? Because it's really something that reminds me of you. You are my human mandu, your cheeks, your gummy smile, I would die to see that again. Been so long since I saw mandu so it made me uneasy when I saw it.

I go to Korea when it's your birthday and if it's your death anniversary. I'm riding the private plane I bought on our anniversary. We would've ride it together and travel the world. We would be together right now and I don't need to live again here in Thailand because i'll be there in Korea living with you. If I haven't been coward that day. If for once i've been brave to stay with you maybe you still with me right now or we both eneded our life but still together. This is so hard. What they say is correct, what the brain forgets, heart will always remember. My heart still remember every single thing about you, my Jennie. I always remember you every moment my heart beats. It remember you because the first time I saw you is the first time it flutters. My tears fell down again, nothing's new though. I wipe it when I remember someone knocked on my door. Its unusual because mom and dad never did that.

"Lisa-yah!", Jisoo unnie greeted, I saw her when I get out of my room.

"Lalisa!", Chaeng hit the high note while running over me and hugged me so tight.

"How are you?", Chaeng asked.

"Still feels yesterday", I answered and my tears fell down again.

"Yah", Jisoo unnie felt sad.

"Same", Chaeng pouted.

"Yah! Why are you here?", I said to take away the silence.

"We're just here to see how have you been. Its like, a year since we saw each other? Right?", Jisoo unnie said.

"Yeah. When we decided to just leave the band because its not working anymore. Because we lost Jennie. Because we're not happy anymore. Because, because I can't focus and just stayed in my room the whole month not even thinking abouty health condition", I said.

"Yah! But Red Velvet already disband. Aren't they?", Chaeng said.

"What? Really?", I asked.

"Yes. Because of the many issues about suicide and shaming of thd idols so there's a lot of groups who already disband to protect their lives", Jisoo unnie responded.

"So how have you been with Seulgi unnie?", I asked Jisoo unnie.

Yes. They become together after a year Jennie died. But Jisoo unnie always cry because she's always jealous. There's a lot of girls who clings on her and that's the cause of their fights everytime and that makes me remember Jennie all the time. If she's there, she has always things to say and wisdom words to fulfill your knowledge.

"We already broke up", Jisoo unnie answered.

"Seriously?", I asked.

"Yes. It didn't work out though. But now i'm doing great. Someone's making me happy", Jisoo unnie answered. Wow. That fast? She moved on?

"Seriously? That fast unnie?", Chaeng asked.

"Why not? If it doesn't make you happy anymore. If the pain is greater than the love already. Give up. I tell you, its not already worth it", Jisoo unnie said.

"But why I still love Jennie if that so?", I asked.

"That's not the same story. Yah!", Chaeng said.

"Chayoung-yah. You. How are you? Is someone already caught our Rosé's heart?", I teased.

"Well", she sigh.

"What?", Jisoo unnie said.

"Park Sooyoung", she giggled.

"Seriously? Park-Park couple? Do you have plans to build your own parking lot?", Jisoo unnie teased.

"Yah! That's not funny. You know she make me smile so bright. She courted me like so long and she still does until now. I'm so inlove with her", Chaeng said.

"So corny!", I teased.

"Yah! Aren't you happy for me?", Chaeng asked me.

"I'm happy for you because someone already making you happy", I answered.

"You. Don't you have plans on looking for someone who will open your heart again and will make you happy?", Jisoo unnie asked.

That made me think for a moment. Am I ready? Will I be ready? No. I can't. I will never be. You know the feeling that your heart is already been taken by only one person and its so impossible to love someone else. Is it weird that i'm still inlove with her? That in my heart she's still alive. She always will.

Thank you guys. Forever grateful that you are reading my stories. Thank you. I will try to make this story better though my writing skills is not that good.

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