After Dawn

2. Confession

Lian POV

I saw Adam but I was too shocked to speak. I was so tired traveling from Australia to Jakarta, hungry and tired with the hot and humid Jakarta air, and then met not only Adam, but a beautiful Asian woman whose calves were smooth. Oh God, is this a mistake I came all the way here?

Why?

"Let me explain, sorry, I didn't know you were coming. Now please go in first so we can talk inside?" said Adam. His right hand carries a shopping bag while his left hand is about to touch my shoulder. But I back away. I don't want to be touched.

"No, please just.. just answer, honestly. Are you cheating on me?" Please answer no please. Say she's just a friend. this is all wrong.

"Lian, I'm sorry..." Adam looks ashamed but he doesn't look sorry. his eyes looked at me then looked at the woman who standing at the door and said nothing.

"Alright .. you.. you should have said from the beginning if you were bored with me and wanted to break up. I will understand. You don't need to cheat and lie. From all people, you should at least able to treat me better than this"

"I'm sorry .. "

"It seems our relationship ends here, right? if you are not a coward we might be able to end this happily. But never mind, sorry to disturb your Christmas Eve" I said bitterly. I pulled back my luggage and headed to the elevator.

"Please Lian, at least come in and stay here tonight?" he said. And live with you and your affair? no way! I at least know how to respect myself, Adam.

"at least let me take you to the hotel," Adam said, his hand about to hold my suitcase but I hurriedly refused.

"We're over and stop here Adam, just looking at you makes me sick" I looked at him sharply.

Adam paused and just looked down. the elevator door opened, I pushed my suitcase and immediately pressed the close button. I don't want to see Adam's face any longer.

I stayed in a luxury hotel not so far from Adam's apartment. At least I can spoil myself after a hard day. I do not know what to think. I can't feel, I haven't cried yet! Oh No. This is a bad sign, I should have cried and pulled everything out. if there's Kris or Alex my best friend here, I really need someone to talk to.

After taking a shower and filling my stomach with food I ordered from the hotel, the first thing I did was change my ticket  schedule. I already bought a ticket home the day after new year. Thinking that i will spend new year in Indonesia with Adam. Uhh .. i have to go home soon. But where do I go? my parents will ask why I didn't celebrate Christmas in Indonesia. and all my friends must be busy with their families. What should I do? my eyes suddenly saw a painting on the wall. Bali, yes i am going to Bali, forget Adam and let have some fun!

While so sleepy I heard my cellphone ringing. A message from Adam. He apologizes and wants to meet tomorrow morning. He asked me where i stay and was I comfortable? after cheating,  he still pretending to be considerate? Of course I'm comfortable, I enjoy Christmas Eve alone in a strange place, away from home and only accompanied by Netflix!

Should I answer the message? I don't want to see him again. I still need time to digest all of this.

Talking to him won't make me feel better, right? whatever the reason, the cheats only signify one thing, he does not love me as much as I love him. And its hurt!

We were together for almost four years and I never thought that Adam would be able to do this to me. Why? is that woman more beautiful? better than me? oh no, why am I so insecure like this? there is nothing wrong with me. I'm not perfect, this relationship isn't perfect. but still can't be a reason for cheating.

I sighed. Staring at the cellphone that I still hold in my hand. Maybe, for the last time, I'd better talk to Adam. Even for just hearing the reason.

In the morning, Adam arrived at breakfast time. I enjoyed breakfast in my room. Too lazy to get out. I already got a ticket to Bali this afternoon. Knowing Jakarta being so crowded, it seems I have to leave early to the airport so I won't miss my flight.

I did not allow Adam to go to my room, so I told him to wait in the lobby. after bathing and packing up, dragging my luggage out of the elevator, I saw Adam sitting alone on one of the sofas in the hotel lobby. He looks handsome in a blue shirt and jeans. his boyish appearance as a college student has slowly disappeared. I just realized, Adam is no longer a student, and no longer my boyfriend.

I take a deep breath. Seeing him this morning is much harder than seeing him last night. He is nothing to me now and I will only remember him as a cheater. No more and no less. Its sad!

"Good morning Lian," Adam said. he stood when he saw me.

"Good morning. Sorry I have to catch the plane in two hours so just say what you want to say now. I don't have much time," I explained. I didn't sit up, just stood up, hoping this conversation would end quickly.

Adam paused for a moment. then take a deep breath. "Okay, I want to apologize, I know I was wrong and you might never forgive me. Lian, you know, without me you will be fine, but unlike you, Azlee will break if I leave her. I'm sure you will understand and forgive me Lian ... "

Lian snorts, huh, so he thinks I'm a Wonder Woman or what? and he thought I was a choice. where he can decided to choose another woman from me?

"Of course Adam, it's obvious I am stronger and will quickly forget you. After knowing what kind of person you really are, I won't need long time to move on. Bad things should be forgotten right away right? Or it will become dirt for our beautiful mind? "I said fiercely.

"Yeah.. Do you go straight back to Australia? Then please allow me to take you to the airport? Let me reimburse your ticket and hotel too.."

"Don't. No need. I don't need your money yesterday, now and in the future. I just need to be loved, need you always to be honest, and you can't give it. So don't try to do anything for me again. And where I'm going right now, is none of your business, "I said. I turned toward the receptionist, handed her the hotel key card.

My cellphone rang, the notification from grab that the grab driver who would take me to the airport had arrived. I looked at Adam for the last time, "I wish you happy Adam, goodbye"