After Dawn

3. Mistake

I don't know how to explain this to Lian. This is all my fault. When I first moved here many things happened. One night after work I drunk with my expatriate friends. They took me to a bar. Then somehow that night I ended up in a hotel, naked with some woman i dont know. I think everything will be fine. it's only one night stand, nothing more. I don't even know that woman name.

Later on she turned out to be the younger sister of one of my colleague. The woman, Azlee, is an Indonesian-Arab. She is beautiful, kind and looks quite liberal. Everything is fine, until she told me that she is pregnant with my child.

Here then the problem arises. She did not want an abortion and neither did I have heart to tell her to do that. I also do not want my relationship with her brother to be bad. Even though we just met and her brother doesn't work in the same department with me, but he's still my senior. I just a new employee, i does not dare to do things that might damage my career. I realized I was stupid and coward. I am totally unfit for a good woman like Lian. my life is too messed up now.

"Hey baby, are you still thinking about Lian? Sorry it's all my fault" Azlee said, she sat on the sofa beside me and handed me the cup of coffee she had just made. "Don't think too much. She will be fine," she added.

"I should have been honest to Lian from the begining. Lian was right, I should have been able to treat her better than this. I was really ashamed ". I sighed, inhaled the aroma of coffee in my hand but didn't drink it.

"Sometimes things doesn't happen the way we want," Azlee said.

I just shut up. I never imagined I'd be with anyone other than Lian. Lian Leslie, we are a favorite couple on campus. She was born rich, her father owned a chain of hotels and apartments in Australia and several other countries. While her mother owns several art galleries. Lian herself has a talent for painting, her paintings are very beautiful. but she never wanted to show it off. I know because she only showed it to some close friends when they visited his house. Lian has a special studio in her house.

Lian is a very humble and kindheart woman. She always tried to be independent even though she could get whatever she wanted from her parents.

Sometimes I feel useless beside her. She doesn't need me, financially. She always accepts me as I am, to the point that I cannot find her flaws. She is not spoiled, not possessive and always understanding. She is also very beautiful. She has an oriental face, a soft black hair and a very pale and smooth skin that she got from her Asian mother and Australian father.

I'm really a jerk because I can hurt a women as perfect and as good as Lian.

I still love her. but I ruined this. I ruined my chance to be with her. At first I am so proud and happy to be able to immediately get a job in a very big company after I graduate. I want Lian to be proud of me. next year she graduated and I think I can take her to Indonesia. I had planned to propose to her in Bali when she graduated, marry her there. Lian says she really likes bali and wants to live there. But all these plans were ruined because of one night stand and sex that I don't even remember.

Now I have to take responsibility, marry Azlee and raise the baby she is carrying, my child.