Playa Cardz Right

Chapter 15

James POV...

"You Know I Don't Even Want You In Here With Me. What You Did Was Self-Centered Childish And Plain Stupid. I Tried With You After Having My Heart Broke Multiple Times And I Still Let Myself Fall For Someone Who Doesn't Deserve Me. But It's Okay My Dad Broke My Heart Before Any Of You Fuck Boys Had A Chance To. You're Dismissed Bitch Ass Nigga." Dyman Said After I Tried Explaining Myself.

"I'm So--"

"No. Don't Even Say It. Sorry Doesn't Fix Anything Its Just Words. My Ears Are Broken, You Gotta Show Me. Are You Going To Leave Anytime Soon Because I Have Business To Handle."

"Like What? And Im Taking You Home. You Came With Me You leaving with Me."

"Don't Worry About It. What's Wrong With Your Child."

"She Broke Her Arm."

"Oh." She Mumbled.

I Could Tell By The Way She Was Looking At Me And Her Voice The She Wanted To Cry. luckily There Wasn't Anything Serious Wrong So They Released Her Before Jimoni. After A Lot Of Questions From The Children Protective Services They Decided Jimoni Will Be Held In Foster Care Until Court On A Further Date. The Closest Date They Can Get Me In Is In Two Weeks. That Gives Me About Ten Days To Get Back In Dyman's Good Graces. I Pray She'll Give Me Another Chance, I Completely Understand Why She's Hurt. The One Person She Thought Would Tell Her Any And Everything Didnt. I Broke Her Trust. Trust Takes So Much Time To Build And So Little Time To Destroy. Well I Guess I Better Get To Work.

The Ride Home Was Exactly What I Expected Yet Completely Awkward. Dyamn Kept Asking About Jimoni. Its Like She Already Knew Her And Just Wanted To Be With Her. When Dyman And I Made It To Our Destination, I Stayed Right Behind Her. Getting To The Door I Tried Telling Dyman Good Bye But She Just Slammed The Door In My Face. After A Few Seconds Of Chuckling I Went Back To The Car And Texted Dyman 'This Ain't Over'. The Rest Of The Ride Home Was Me Thinking How To Get The Police Of My Back, Dyman In My Arms, And Jimoni In My House.

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Dyman**

I Always Find Myself In The Same Situations Is It Me? Am I The Reason I Always Get Hurt. I Try Not To Turn Myself Into To The Ignorant Bitter Lonely Black Female That The Males Oif My Generation Is Offering. But The Lies I Keep Being Told, The Trust Being Taken For Granted, My Innocence Stolen From Me. I Try Getting Everything Thing Back From Me With Someone New, But They Are All The Same. Sometimes I Just Want To Give Up Them I Remember I Have A Lot Of People To Piss Off. But That Same Excuse Is Getting Kind Of Old.I Guess Its Attachments To My Old Self That I Have To Let Go.

When I Was Talking To My Mom The Other Day She Told Me To Write A Letter To My Old Self And A Letter To My Future Self. Those Letters Will Help Me In The Future And See How Much I've Grown.

~A Letter To My Old Self

You Have So Much Growing To Do. You Have To Experience Your First Everything Not All Will Be At Your Own Time. When Things Are Taken From You Dont Get Discouraged, Just KEEP FIGHTING! Always Try New Things If You Don't You Will Always Be Left Wondering. Just Remember Too Smile And Trust Yourself.

~ A Letter To My Future Self

It Was All Worth It! You Survived . Everything From Your Past Has Lead You Up To This Moment.The Obstacles You Faced In The Past Helped You Get Stronger And Stronger From The Rape Until God Knows What. (You Wrote It When You Were 17).

I Decided To Keep Them Short And Sweet And Put Them In The Back Of My Diary For Safe Keeping.

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After About Four Long Days Of Sitting Alone In The House Watching Reruns Of The Old Disney Channel ; Thats So Raven, Lilo And Stitch, Proud Family, Kim Possible, Etc. I Decided To Treat Myself Out To Lunch And A Movie. First I Went To The Mall To Ball Out Before I Go To School A Week Late Due To Depression. While I Was In The Mall Throwing Money For Whatever I Wanted, I Saw The Finest Boy Ever But I'm Giving Up On Guys For A While. I Tried Walking Away From Him To The Food Court