A Good Gal In the Making.

The Wasp

Acknowledgements:

Luther, I would have never mustered up the balls to publish a book without you. You're also the only motive that aided me to commit to writing. If it weren't for you, this would have been just another one of my unfinished works. You gave birth to a horrid monster, and you owe everyone an apology.

* * *

A child standing proud and tall inside an adult's wardrobe without being taught first to crawl: it's innocence lost.

"ALEXANDRA MARIAH POVLOV" said Mom in a stern, Russian accent. "All my life I've been struggling for one thing only: providing you with adequate education. Now you tell me you want to switch to a public school?"

"I have made my decision." I uttered, uninterested. Having to go through the very same conversation for the 7th time since yesterday got old real quick.

"You can't handle it there, "Princess"." She mocked. "Have you the slightest idea of how insane you sound like? You do not belong there."

"I never belonged to the materialistic superficial world my current school revolves around."

No, that's not what I want to say. I wanted to tell her how I never belonged anywhere.

I never belonged to this family. Although my father's love was always strong, and my mother's glory lived on and on. Still inside I felt alone, for reasons unknown to me.

I never belonged to that aforementioned grandiose lifestyle with such fragile, materialistic, devastatingly shallow values.

And I take it for granted that I will not belong to the place I am about to attribute a temporarily stage of my journey to.

Nowhere has ever felt like home.

That's the reason why I have the tendency to fly. It made me feel far more secure than sticking around a certain place or the other, forcing myself to "fit-in". It took every inch of my willpower to do so, until i have finally had enough. Snapping became inevitable.

There arouses a life-long analogy between humans and birds: birds born in a cage think flying is a crime. Humans trained to seek conformity think individuality is a crime.

Unfortunately, birds and humans divert on another behalf, they become two controversial beings. Some birds just dont fly, but those that do will never cease, down to their last breaths. I wish it were the same for humans, that those who flew would never come to a halt. For humans it's different, the trip is hindered. Obstacles are constantly hurling around their way to enlightment. Motivation is needed much like a vitamin, in daily doses. Even those who claim to have the fire, even those who walk with it and talk with it, can crumble.

It's devastating for me to look into the future and know I'll be in the same place I am now. Sure, I have a safe, secure future among people who care about me and what not. But a constant is never really a constant. That sense of safety is false. You better destroy it before it destroys you.

I don't want to dwell on that false sense of safety. I want to experience twists and turns that leave me breathless. A free spirit would die inside a captive body.

"You are not leaving that place." She said back, making it sound like an order.

As if I was going to obey it.

"I have made my mind." I said as I skipped casually towards the door, still able to hear her murmuring curse words. She was clearly not in the right mood. It's mom. I'd be surprised if she actually was in the right mood for once.

My room had always been my safe haven. After all, I had taken up tremendous mounts of dedication, time and effort to personalize every single detail around.