Drew

.5.

"What a bitch." Owen murmurs, washing the second shot of whiskey down with some beer.

I don't tell Owen that if Jaelyn called me right now and said it was all a joke, a mistake, that I'd take her back. I know how pathetic it would sound. Doesn't change the fact that it's true.

I clear my throat, going for a change of topic. "You still with Mina?"

His eyes meet mine and I brace myself for some verbal abuse. But it doesn't come.

"Yeah." Is all he offers up.

"Things good?"

He nods his head. "Yeah, basically."

I'm not sure what that means, watching as he takes a drink and then spins his bottle back and forth between his palms.

"She's not really talking to me right now but she'll come around."

"What do you mean she's not talking to you?"

I can feel my head getting a little foggy, the alcohol dumbing down my fingers, making them feel heavy.

"I proposed to her." He drops the bomb on me and I gape. "She laughed at me and hasn't been home since."

"What the hell?" I blurt louder than intended.

"It's not a big deal." He shrugs it off and the more surprising thing about it is, he seems genuinely unconcerned.

"How is that not a big deal?"

If I had proposed and Jaelyn had laughed and walked away I would have been groveling at her feet, begging for her forgiveness, promising her anything.

"If you knew Mina, you'd get it." Is all he says, adding as an after thought, "she's got some commitment issues. She'll warm up to it though."

"I give you props man." I tell him. "I wouldn't take that so chill."

He looks up at the wall of liquor behind the bar, momentarily lost in it before he says, "don't have a choice, I love her."

I love Jaelyn.

But she's made it clear that's a one way street. I've wonder so much over the past few months if she ever really loved me. Once Owen found out and broke up with her and tried to break my ankles with his wheelchair she wanted nothing to do with me. In hindsight it might have been a sign.

But slowly as the days and weeks passed, it was clear even from a distance that something was going on between Owen and Mina and maybe Jaelyn realized she wasn't going to get Owen back so she just settled for me. And then she kept on settling until she meet the guy that was balls deep in her on my stupidly overpriced wood desk. Now when I try to work at it, all I can envision is his ball sack slapping against the finished wood. I've taken up office in the living room, on the coffee table but I'm not entirely sure I can trust any surface in my flat at this point. 

"I'm sorry Owen." I blurt out. "I'm really fucking sorry."

"I don't care." He tells me.

I nod, I know he doesn't, he's already told me that. But I need him to know that I've hated myself every single day since Jaelyn kissed me and I made the decision to not tell him.

"I told her we couldn't. I stopped her when she first kissed me." I feel this desperation to explain myself eat away at my insides, forcing me to tell him even though I know he doesn't want me to.

"It doesn't matter." There's a bite to his words.

"I know it doesn't. I just, I tried to do the right thing." All my fight deflates out of me, not that there was much to begin with.

Owen laughs sarcastically. "Get over yourself Drew. I don't fucking care. I'm not sitting here, wondering what you're doing, if you're fucking Jaelyn still. I haven't thought about you guys in years."

I clench my teeth, staring at the bar as I receive Owen's anger yet again.

"I mean seriously, how pathetic do you think I am?" He barks at me.

I don't think he's pathetic. I'm the pathetic one.

"Besides I shoulda saw it coming." He mutters, voice full of resentment. "You always got everything you wanted anyway."

I swallow hard, not denying it.

I was popular because I was rich. I got Jaelyn because I was there able to give her anything she wanted when Owen couldn't. I shut that bitch Sydney up for talking shit about Owen by threatening to have my dad fire hers because he worked for my dad's company. I got into a good college because I bought my way there. I climbed the corporate ladder faster than everyone else because I was my father's son. I got everything because I had the money or the connections to do so.

"I just didn't think you'd step on me to get it." He slams his beer down on the table, the bottle empty.

"I'm a piece of shit."

He snorts. "At least we agree on something."

He asks the bartender for one more beer and his tab but I intercept picking up his tab. He grumbles something about being able to pay his own bill, I'm a jackass with too much money.

"Listen." His words sharp. "I don't hate you."

Sure sounds like he does.

"Not anymore at least." He adds.

I'm desperate and as cheesy as it is, I ask "friends?" way too hopeful sounding. I'm desperate for the way Owen and I were before I screwed everything up.

"Fuck no." He exaggerates it, like I've just said the most ridiculous thing in the world. "I don't trust you."

I have to accept it. There's no changing Owen's mind. He's always stuck to his decisions and morals like fucking glue, something I clearly have problems with.

"But this wasn't awful."

Tipping his bottle of beer to the side, he looks at me, most of the anger gone from his face as he waits for me. I tap the neck of my bottle against his and together we take a drink.

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Oh Owen, always so hostile.