Define Love

Chapter 3

I never know how to react when someone says something complimentary to me. Most of the time I nod my head, and get over it. The slightest ounce of affection scares me. I’ve never actually told anyone this, only my ex Harry. Harry and I had a long relationship. Here is our story:

It was the day before my birthday and it was my senior year. I was never one to talk to many people. I ate lunch alone, walked by myself from class to class and only hung out with one girl during my photography class. I didn’t know very many people at my school. Well, let’s put it this way, I never made a point to know anyone at my school. However, on this particular day, Friday March 4th, a boy with curly brown hair came up to me after school and was standing in the way of my car door and me.

“Excuse me, you’re blocking my ride home.” I scuffed. I was so not in the mood for this. I had a lot of homework that I had to work on, so that I wouldn’t have to do it on Saturday, my birthday.

“I know. Your name is Hazel Smith, correct?” The tall brooding boy said.

“Yes, it is, why do you want to know?”

“Oh no particular reason.”

“Well if that is the case, could you remove yourself from my car so I can drive myself to somewhere less prison like?” I try shoving him out of my way, but he is stuck to the gravel like glue. What is this guy’s deal?

“Tomorrow is your birthday, yes?”

“Okay creep, what’s up with you? First you block my car door. Then you question about my name, which you obviously knew. Now you’re asking about my birthday? What is this a game show where I have to answer yes or no, then you’ll give me a billion dollars and move away from my damn car?”

“You’re feisty aren’t you. To answer you’re various questions, I’ asking if it is your birthday tomorrow, because then I was going to ask you if you were doing anything. And no this is not a game show, but hell if it was, you’re on your way to that billion dollars.”

“Okay… Why do you want to know what I am doing tomorrow for my birthday?” I challenge him.

“I was wondering if you would like to do something with me?”

“No. I don’t even know your name.”

“It’s Harry, Harry Styles.”

“What would we even do, Harry Styles?”

“You’d have to wait and see, it would be your birthday surprise.”

“What? That’s not even fair.”

“I’ll pick you up around 8 o’clock then.” He said as he moved away from my car fast, and walked away with lightening speed so that I wouldn’t have time to deny his offer. Great tomorrow night on my birthday some creeper named Harry is picking me up at 8 to probably take me to my death…

8 o’clock on Saturday rolls around, and I’m sitting by my window staring out. Sure enough a bullet gray car pulls up to the curb. Harry gets out of his car and starts his way up my driveway. I don’t want my mother asking very many questions, so I already told her that I was just going out to the bookstore to treat myself to some new novels. I hurry out the door so that I would beat Harry at a chance of him knocking at the front door.

“Don’t you look nice.” He says. You’ve got to be kidding me… I’m wearing dark wash jeans and a rolling stones t-shirt that looks way older than the band itself. My hair is the same as it always is, on top of my head, because I don’t have anything else to do with it since I cut it short pixie style my freshman year of high school. And my shoes are old gray toms with more holes in them than ever possible.

“As do you.” I say in a sarcastic tone. He on the other hand is wearing a nice pair of black jeans with a jean button down shirt, and his shoes are black boots that look brand new. He motions his hand to his car and I follow him to the passenger side. He opens the door for me and I slowly get in watching him every millisecond of the way. As he walks around and sits in the diver’s seat I blurt out a legitimate question.

“How do you know me?”

“You know my friend Amy, she is in your photography class.” He answers with honesty. Amy is the only person I really talk to all day. We don’t discus much. Now I remember saying something about her friend Harry a couple of times.

“Yeah I know Amy, but how do you know me?”

“Well, okay, Amy talks about you, and from the things she has said, you seem really cool. I’ve also known you sine freshman year, even when your hair was long and you hadn’t cut it yet. I was in your biology for the first week of school. I always wished I had spoken to you, but I never did. So I got the guts to ask you out for tonight, and I thought it would be perfect since it was your birthday.”

“If you have known me for this long, how come you haven’t ever tried to talk to me?”

“Our school schedules never matched up again, but then Amy had you in her class and so when she started to talk about you, I knew that it was been late than never for me to ask you on a date.”

“That makes sense I guess. But you’re still sort of creepy.”

“I’d take creepy as a compliment.” I started to laugh. I didn’t mean to laugh. It was even that funny… I threw my hands over my mouth to stop the horrendous noise.

“What are you not aloud to laugh?” Harry questioned.

“Yes of course I’m aloud to laugh.”

“Then why did you stop yourself?”

“I don’t want you to think that you’re cool with me now. I hardly know you.”

“Well, alrighty then, anyways you should laugh more often it makes your eyes pop.”

I looked over at Harry. He was half smiling and that’s when I noticed his green eyes. They stuck out at my like a shooting star across the sky. When looking into his eyes, it didn’t make him seem so bad anymore. A weird feeling in my gut was happening. Was it butterflies? Shit it was…

And that’s how I met Harry and began to see him as someone I could learn to love. But even spending a year with hi, with all those good memories and even the bad, still wouldn’t change my mind about my decision. I walked out on him because he walked out on me first… If you’re wondering, yes Amy Crane was my friend. She was the one that I went to for help or to just chat about Harry and I. I trusted her. I really did. But I trusted Harry more.  However, after this disaster, I realized that I was right. Love was something only found in movies. Love never lasted forever and when the love was over and it was time to move on, the tears and the pain were nothing compared to the backstabbing that the two of the closest people I had did to me.

So, now this person writing me these notes it scaring me. I don’t want to just fall in love again to only get hurt in the end. Never again. I’m getting inside of my head too much. The notes are nice and all, but to really know what is going on I’m going to have to meet with anonymous. I grab another piece of paper and my purple pen and write me note to anonymous.

“Dear Anonymous,

I don’t like this note writing thing any more. It is messing with my head too much. If you really want to converse with me, meet me at J Brew in about an hour.

Sincerely,

Hazel”

……….

I’m sitting at a table by the window at J brew with my mocha latte, staring out the window at every guy that walks by. I question each on of them in my head. “Could that be him? No he is too tall. Him? No he is holding hands with her. Him? No he..” My train of thought is cut off by a familiar voice.

“Hello there Hazel.” The Irish accent is thick and I turn my head to see the blonde hair, blue-gray eyed boy sit down across form me with a paper in his hand. I star at it hard and notice that it is my handwriting.

“Hello anonymous.” I say to the boy and he gives me the smile that sends a dagger right through my chest.