Romance ¦ Chaelisa

3. Should've Said It

"So you want me now? That's funny
'Cause you didn't give a... back then
Comin' back around, so sorry
'Cause there's no room in my bed
And I'm all good now, someone else is gettin' all of me
If you wanted me so desperately, you shoulda said it

Isn't it magic that when you stop lookin' for it, it happens?
Baby, he fell from grace, landed right in your place
Kissed me so many times that I forgot your taste"

Just finished a set on stage and made my way to the dressing room to get out of this stage outfit and, back into my own comfortable clothes, which usually just consisted of sweats and a crop top.

As I enter the dressing room my manager approaches me to congratulate myself and the girls on our Sky Dome performance. I thanked him and shortly after he left.

We'd be flying back out to Korea tonight but, I felt sad. I was sad because today was Ashley's (Halsey's) birthday and I wouldn't get to spend it with her.

Ashley and I have been together for almost three months now and its been a dream. I wish I got to spend more time with her in person because every thing felt good around her, she felt good. She made me happy and she helped me move on.

Ashley and I met up while I was in Paris and there was this instant spark. She just made me feel so good and wanted. She made me feel loved.

"Chaengah" I hear from the entrance of the dressing room. It was Lisa.

"Mmmm" I answer her while texting my girlfriend.

"Can you - can you look at me?" She asks me.

I look up from my phone in confusion.

"What?" I ask her.

"I can't do this" She says as she walks closer to me.

"What are you talking about?" I ask her unsure about what she was referring to.

"I can't take seeing you with her" She says as she walks closer to me.

"What?" Is all I say.

How does she have the audacity to say that to me after I spent years pining after her and her giving me nothing.

I chased her like a wild dog and she gave me nothing in return but false hope.

That's why I needed Ashley, why she made me so happy. Its like she fell from grace and landed right in her place.

She gave me so much love I'd almost forgotten how it felt to love Lisa.

"I want you Rosie" Lisa says as she looks me in my eyes with her sad eyes.

I hate her.

How can she do this me?

I told her I could only hold on to her for a little longer if she didn't give me anything and she never. Now, she has to deal with the consequences. I wanted her so bad then, but she gave me nothing.

I waited for her for months. I would hang around backstage waiting for her to give me attention, anything but, she never. She only paid attention to me when it suited her.

"Lisa... come on" Is all I say as I'm too frustrated to say anything else.

"I want to be with you. Please" She says as she holds my hand and looks into my eyes.

"What are you doing?" I ask her almost angry, taking back my hand.

This is not okay.

I've moved on now.

"Rosie I can't do this without you" She says.

I scoff at her words "So you want me now? That's funny cause you didn't give a fuck back then" I say to her.

"Please" Is all she replies.

"If you wanted me so bad, you should have said it back then" I say to her angrily.

I waited for Lisa for so long. I told her I loved her with all my heart but she said she didn't want it. She said she couldn't see us as more than friends. She ignored me, teased me, mocked me. It hurt me a great deal and it took me a long time to get over it and finally move on.

So how dare she?

How dare she come back to me and say all of this to me the second I am happy again.

She should have said it back then.