Not another day

Fireworks

How? How could I've forgotten that note? I'm actually dead. I actually have to transfer now, but how? Shit shit shit. I hate this. I hate my life.

To Eren :),

How do I put it? Eren, I, I don't know how to say it but, I know you hate me. I don't know why you hate me, but, can I win you? I know you might hate me even more than you already do, but you'll only see this after I die, so, I like you. For a long time now. I know you feel disgusted that I like you. Yeah, someone you hate liking you? That is pretty disgusting. But, please read til the end. 

It's been, what, two years since I started to like you? Well, according to when I wrote this. I'm not asking you to force yourself to have pity on me or anything. I just have one request though. Just one. Even if you're not going to do it, I should at least tell you. Here it is. On your next birthday, can you fire fireworks in front of my mom and dad's house? You already know where I live. Well, I guess by the time you get this, you might not, but I want you to remember. If you really don't know where it is, can you fire the fireworks just on your birthday. Anywhere really. Even if it's at the dump or somewhere you hate the most. Actually, thinking about it, you probably might not even do it because you hate me, so it's fine. I just wanted to let you know I guess. I'm sorry to bother you and take up your time, but you know. Just in cause you change your mind, right?

Sorry for everything and back then for what I did to make you hate me. Also right now by taking your time. I should probably just stop writing then because I'm taking more of your time. Sorry. Again. For liking you too. Just forget about this letter. Burn it up if you want. And if you really want, you can burn up the house or my grave. Just anything that makes you happy. Sorry.

~Levi :)   (I'm really sorry) 

Honestly, how can I even write a note like that? Was I even in my right mind? Well, what's done is done though. But, what if he's going to burn the house now? Shit. Wait, I did say whatever makes him happy. It's fine, I guess. It's my fault anyways. It was always my fault. I caused him to hate me, didn't I. Yeah, I did. Whatever. Maybe I shouldn't go to school tomorrow. I mean, at least he'll be happy. Besides, he got a message about the petition that I wanted him out. Yeah. I'll just stay home tomorrow.

 I fell asleep thinking about what I should do tomorrow. About Eren. About my life.

-Time Skiiip-Tomorrow-

I couldn't wait so I had to bring it to tomorrow. Hope y'all don't mind:)

BEEP BEEP 

I shut off my alarm. I got up but then fell back down. 

Right. I wasn't going to school tomorrow. I'll text Hangi to let her know, then I'll go back to sleep.

I got out my phone and texted her.

Levi: I'm not coming to school today

Hangi: Huh? Why? Is there something wrong?

Levi: Yeah. I just don't feel like it. 

Hangi: I'm coming over right now!

 Levi: Wait, noo!

Hangi: What?

Levi: I'm fine. I meant that I just don't feel like going to school cuz you know. There's just those days you don't want to go to school.\

Hangi: Pffft That's me everyday. What do you mean

Levi:*rolls eyes* Yeah yeah. I just don't feel like it today. I'm really fine tho.

Hangi: Ok then. You better come tomorrow then. Knowing you, you won't skip two days of school in a row.

Levi: Don't worry. I'll come

Hangi: Okie. cya tomorrow then

Levi: Yeah. Bye

I looked at the clock. 8:16. How the hell did I spend 16 minutes texting her? Whatever. I'll go back to sleep. 

BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG

I woke up startled and looked at the clock again. It was 9: 47 AM. How did I sleep for a whole day? I ran down the stairs to see who was knocking on the door and I shouldv'e known.

"I thought you said you were gonna come today! You didn't even show up!" Hanji yelled.

"I know, I know. My alarm didn't work and I just got your messages now. I'll get dressed and see you at school then."

I closed the door not waiting for her to answer back. With her talking, it would already be the next day. I quickly got dressed and brushed my teeth. I didn't even bother making breakfast and just grabbed some bread instead. For lunch? No matter how much I hated spending money for useless things such as going out for lunch, I had to do it. Man, if I didn't oversleep, then I would've had lunch to eat and I wouldn't have to spend my money. Money is pretty hard to earn with how I'm living.

I ran out of the house and got to school 15 minutes later. When I entered the school, I saw Eren sitting on a bench close to my locker. Shiet. How am I suppose to get my stuff now? I guess this leaves me no choice. I quietly walked pass Eren to get to my classroom, not bothering to go to my locker. I thought I had successfully made it, but once my back was towards Eren, I was roughly pushed towards the lockers. He held my hands above my head and with his free hand, he grabbed my shirt. 

"Where were you yesterday? Trying to escape after all that?" Damn. Was he angry. I swear he was never so angry with me before. I started to shake like crazy and I couldn't stop.  

"I-I-I'm so so-sorry. I though y-you wouldn't want to s-see me again." I started to cry. I tried to stop, but the more I tried, the more tears flowed down.

"Sigh"

I looked up to see that Eren had let go of my hands and shirt. He cupped my face and wiped my tears away with his thumbs. It made me cry even more.

"Stop crying."

I tried but I couldn't. He gave out another sigh. 

"I'm sorry. It's all my fault. It's always my fault. I'm sorry." I took off running down the hall and turned to go into the bathroom. I washed my face with cold water. I was about to leave when Eren appeared. 

"Is that all you ever do? Run and hide, Levi?"

I made him angry again, didn't I? I dropped my head to the ground. Eren was coming closer to me and I started to back up. Since my head was facing the ground, I didn't realize that Eren was walking faster towards me then I was backing up. He grabbed my chin and made me face him. He leaned in. I was shocked. There was no way he would like me right? Before he was gonna kiss me. I pushed him roughly. 

"What's wrong with you? Did you think I was gonna kiss you, blockhead? In. Your. Dreams."

He turned around and was about to leave. He turned his head back to be and said "I was going to tell you that I'll never do such a thing. Who the hell is gonna fire fireworks for a piece of shit like you, Levi? Disgusting." He left.

My heart heart. I wanted to cry, but no tears came out. I knew it. He hated me. Why did I make the letter in the first place. All I wanted was for someone I love fire fireworks for me. My dad was going to do it for mom on her birthday, but he died. But I knew he was never going to do it. He even spat out my name like I was a taboo in his life. I was a mistake. Yeah. No doubt about that. I walked towards the door to leave the bathroom. I was going home. I told Hanji I would come, but things aren't working out. I couldn't stay in a place where I knew Eren didn't want me to be. Yup. I'm transferring. Somehow. I just need to save up money. Maybe get another job.