maybe if i was older
maybe if i knew him more
maybe if i wasn't so naïve
maybe if i was better
or smarter
or prettier
maybe if i had more talent
or if i was his type
what if i was older
what if life wasn't shit
would there be any point?
is that a life i would fit?
maybe if i'd told him
maybe i wouldn't feel this way
but why
am i disappointed?
jealous?
plain sad?
fuck feelings
i can't understand them
i hate this feeling
like my insides are twisting every which way
like everything is shattering
but i don't get why
i don't get what
maybe if i was older
maybe if i was older,
maybe if i was older, i'd know
maybe if i was older, i'd have a chance
but if i was older
if i was older,
i wouldn't want to be older
maybe
what if
there'd be no such thing
this shit's so complicated
but hey i guess that's what life is
complications
maybe just maybe
but then
who knows?
YOU ARE READING
tho(ugh)ts
Poesíacontent warning! some poems may have minor cursing and dark themes! my messy thoughts compressed into a series of poetry (dark mode recommended)
