Polaroid

Min Seo stepped onto the train while dozens of eyes glared at her every movement. She settled in her seat and looked out the window, the moonlight shined through the grey storm clouds that covered the sky. June's rain tapped on the window, Min looked over the bleak monochrome city, bright flashing billboards advertised beauty standards that can only be achieved through Intense medical procedures.

"Don't be dramatic it's only some plastic!"

"Wrap me in plastic and make me shine!".

"No one will love you if you're unattractive!"

If you are from South Korea or even familiar with the country, you've heard about their impossible-to-achieve beauty standards: a V-shaped face, double eyelids with big Mahogany eyes, perfectly white and aligned teeth, a slim nose with a high bridge, scarily pale skin and boney twig legs.

At Min's graduation, hundreds of plastic surgery gift cards were handed to many of her classmates by their own parents. Even her best friend Hyun Jae.

"You don't need it, Hyun you could be spending thousands of your parent's money on something so much better"

"Thousands? It's only a couple hundred dollars"

"What? please don't tell me you're not going to a sketchy clinic, like a stupid place where surgeons will ruin every face they work on."

"Why do you have to worry about everything? It's all we can afford, Aren't you happy for me? It's only to get double eyelids, what's the worst that could happen?"

The surgery was botched and Hyun Jae's eyes were fused shut by accident. She would never be able to properly see again.

Min's gaze shifted to her reflection in the glass, warped and twisted from the water droplets. She was anything but beautiful. she had a wide square face, crooked teeth, uneven eyes, a darker skin tone and a revolting birthmark that covers somewhat less than a half of her face. Everything people in this country seem to think it's unattractive. She hated her appearance, Min-Seo thought about getting her nose done, even saved up enough money for it but she never fully went through with getting the surgery.

"NEXT STOP SEJONG CITY"

The train doors opened and she ventured gently out of the train. The delicate click of her shoes against the hard cement filled the silence of the overpass. apartment buildings subtlety lit the dark alleyways with a firefly-like glow. Petals from the plum blossom tree swayed in the cold breeze and settled by Min-Seo's heeled Mary Janes. The wind was unforgiving and threw her doll collard navy blue dress she was wearing. After a few minutes of walking, she arrived where she was expected to be. The bright colours were enough to drive anyone insane, as she entered the vividly lit building the music faded into the background and soon all she could hear was the beating of her own heart. The rainbow lights were blurred and blinded her sight. A crowd of muddy faces gathered in the haze, time seemed to slow down and movements became lagged and shudder-like from the black and white strobe lights blinding her. Numbness overwhelmed her fingers, crawled up her arm and traced along the valleys of her neck. It felt like she no longer existed, at least not right now.

"M-" a distorted echoed voice drifted past Min.

"IN-EO " the words were slurred and lazy, they didn't make any sense.

"MIN-SEO!"

She snapped out of her dissociation.

"Sorry I'm not Min Seo!" she yelled over the loud music.

"You know you can't lie to me Min! Come join us for a photo!"

"Hyun, I'm not a big fan of pictur-"

"Not my problem!"

With strong tug, Min was hauled into the group.

"3, 2!"

"Wait!"

SNAP

"Whoops too late!" the daunting giggles faded into the music blasting in her ear, deafening her. Her heartbeat accelerated and the world seemed to spin around her faster, and faster, her head pounded with a tormenting headache. Min didn't like it here, too many colours, too much noise, too many people.

"Hyun-Jae I have to go"

"What do you mean? You just got here"

"Boss needs me to finish an assignment by tomorrow" Min lied through her teeth.

"Ok well, I'll text you tomorrow morning ok?"

"Ok cool, see you later"

Blood rushed to her head as she rushed out of the energy-draining building, she felt her knees give in and wear out like rusty broken spoons trying to support her body. Her hand shook and trembled as she searched her handbag for her keys and managed to open the door to her apartment. She arrived home to the small glow of the fridge light cradling her in its arms, comforting and familiar. She felt she could breathe again. Her small, warm and welcoming safe place. She perched herself in her bumped-out window seat and watched the rain cry onto the glass until she fell asleep.

The sun radiated through her tangled up blinds and kissed her tenderly on her eyelids She woke up tucked snugly in her fuzzy red blankets, she opened her laptop and scrolled amongst her feed, and a particular image stood out, It was a photo from the night before of her, Hyun Jae and three other girls she did not recognise. But something was off, her skin was too clear with little blood-red blushed cheeks. Her face had been warped like bread dough, stretched thin and played with and her birthmark was gone she resembled a Gangnam Unnie. Hyun's eyes had been edited to make it look like she blinked, not that she had her eyes fused shut by accident.

A corrupt portrait of herself painted in blue light glowed in her eyes. She had become a porcelain doll frozen still in a digital world. Min felt a wave of disgust wash over her. Min Seo closed her laptop and slouched over to see her mirror and took a photo of her reflection with a big toothy smile with her polaroid camera. A perfect, pure and untouched image. This is who she was. Not a fabricated photoshop. She took the photo and decorated it with hearts and flowers pegged it to a piece of string on her wall with pride.

She finally felt happy about herself.

(Word count - 1,023)