"I swear on my heart that he's a good man
I know you'll stay up late just waitin' for me
You held me so tight, now someone else can
But you were the first man that really loved me.."
- First Man x Camila Cabello
betty's pov
i was lying my bed the next morning, quiet and drained from the day before. i had hardly slept at all, and i felt like i had mentally been hit by a train.
but as i wake, i feel a warm heat against my bare back. i look down and see that a pair of strong arms are also wrapped around my waist. it was jug. he was still asleep and looked beautiful as he always does.
he starts to soon wake up, and i can tell because his arms tighten around my bare waist. and i loved that he cared so much about me. being through this rough patch i wish he didn't have to go through with me. but he insists anyways.
"morning," he says quietly and softly in my ear.
i smile just a little to myself, because he really does care, and that he stayed up all night just to be with me. and i turn in his arms to face him, my eyes extremely baggy from the day before, and my green eyes feeling like they were just a bit bloodshot from where i was crying.
"you doing ok?" he asks softly, pushing a loose golden curl behind my ear.
i shake my head no, looking at him as a tear rolls down my cheek.
"hey, if you want to stay home today we can." he says softly, his ocean blue eyes soft with love.
i nod then nuzzle into his warm chest and close my eyes. he's my safe place, my home and my everything. i dont know what i'd do without him. i dont even know if i could live without him.
a few hours later, i had gotten out of bed, and was sitting on the couch covered in my fuzzy reindeer christmas blanket. i was watching Friends, trying to get my mind off of everything. but it didn't seem to be working. jug was trying his best to make me feel better, and i love him so much for that. he's the one for me. he loves me so much, and it's so easy to see. the one who would never leave me no matter what. i'm so glad i get to marry him and call him mine.
"hey betts?" i hear him ask in the kitchen, making us hot chocolate.
"hm?" i ask, still looking at the tv.
"i was thinking we could move the wedding if you wanted..maybe a couple months later than we planned." he asks coming over and sitting beside me.
i shake my head. "no, i want to keep the date." then take the hot chocolate slowly from his hands then sip it gently.
"are you sure? because-" he asks but i place my hand on cheek softly.
"it ok, jug. and yes. i want to go ahead and have the wedding at the end of the month as planned."
i smile just the slightest, and he smiles softly at me too.
"i love you," he says softly.
i feel a tear roll down my cheek.
"i love you too," i say back, very quietly before he wraps his strong arms around me.
that night, jug was already asleep in the couch, and i was sitting beside him, stroking his dark, messy hair. then, i decide to pull out my journal and begin writing.
"i swear on my heart that he's a good man. you held me so tight, now someone else can. and i wish you were still here. you liked him, and i'm glad you did. because he makes me really happy. i can't wait to be his forever and for him to be my forever. i promise he loves me, too. he would never hurt. and he's so kind. so, so kind. i wish you'd get to be there with me. when the doors open, and you'd walk with me down the aisle. "you'll always be my little girl," you'd say. and i'd smile. and he's the one. and when he would say he loved me, i would think of you. because you were the first man that really loved me.
- betty <3
i tear up before closing my journal and laying it on the coffee. soon enough, i start sobbing. and jug wakes up.
"baby," he says then just hugs me.
he knows me so well. he holds me tight in his arms just like him.
and i feel safe again.
i still cry, but it's a good kind of cry. because it means i'm growing.
but i'll still miss you.
jug lets go of me and gently brushes the tears from my cheeks.
"it's ok." he says smiling a little.
"yeah," i say smiling softly. "i know,"
he smiles a bit then kisses me softly on the forehead.
his soft lips make me feel at home.
like he's my home.
so all i can say is, thank you.
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sorry for the delay!! but here's a oneshot based off a new song camila released that i really loved. it's sad, but perfect poetry. <3
