The Chaotic Wires of Love **COMPLETE**

CHAPTER 9 - Why is So Much of You, Still a Part of Me?

Important Note – Ok, guys, now we are back to the present day reality of Arnav and Khushi’s Life eight years forward, and this update continues from one day later, as in, Tuesday morning, they had coincidentally met each other on a Sunday evening at the airport.

Chapter 9 – Why is So much of You, Still a Part of Me??

Tuesday Morning

 ( One day after their coincidental meet at the Airport on Sunday evening)

Khushi’s POV

It was 6 am, I was up early today and I still had an hour to myself, because I needed to get the kids up by about 7am.I didn’t want to disturb Usha aunty(our helper, who lived in with us, she helped me around with everything, Vidya Maa, my mother in law had sent her with us here ever since we moved to the capital from Dehradun, six months ago).And so I quickly made myself a cup of piping hot tea, and then walked with it, and seated myself on the little sit out I had on the balcony of my room.

I looked at the skyline, and took a deep breathe, to refresh myself.

My mind and heart, both had spent the last two nights, revisiting every single memory it had held of Arnav Singh Raizada.

I had smiled and I had wept. I had wept like I hadn’t wept in a long time, it was only natural to give the tears its moments at this sudden thunderbolt face to face encounter, with my past.

I had revisited it all, all over again, the love that I had felt for him and then ofcourse the pain too, and also the aftermath of the inner struggle that I had been through after I had moved to Auckland.

I was so broken in that moment, that the only thing that made sense to my mind, was to just vanish straight out and wipe out every trace of myself from his Life.And that’s what I did, I had to, in order to protect myself. I was in so much pain, in gut wrenching, heart breaking pain when I had left Boston, and it was that heartbreak that I felt, that changed something inside of me in such a strong way.I had decided to put a lock on the gates of my heart forever, I knew that I would never give anyone else the power over my heart in such a way.

I couldn’t protect myself from the chaotic whirlpool of emotions that Arnav made me feel, and it had swept me away, it had swept me away off everything inside of me in such a way, that the love for him that had taken over had, had its roots run way too deep within, that no matter how much my mind asked me too, I couldn’t uproot it, I couldn’t undo the love I had felt. In my being, I knew I had loved him truly, with all my heart. But I had to protect myself, and that is why I had decided that I would never be so emotionally vulnerable again, in front of someone and so I locked up the gates of my heart, and this time around, I had instructed my mind to build higher walls.

And ofcourse there was lot of work I had to within to kind of engineer my mind to get there.It was like this process which made me experience so many different emotions that now that I look back it , it was kind of like that, I went through so many stages, to finally come to terms with the fact , that the heartbreak was the fate of my story with Arnav.

For weeks after my move to Auckland, I was initially in that stage of shock and denial, I couldn’t believe the man I,so deeply loved had chosen to pluck me out of his life in the most brutal way, and then ofcourse this state of disbelief was accompanied with a lot of pain,and a lot of tears.I would cry myself to sleep for months, and then slowly I transitioned into the stage that I tried to hate him for it, i would only feel anger, immense anger at him for doing what he did, and then one fine day months down the line, as the tears began to dry out and the anger started to fade away ,I came to a state of looking at things more calmly six months down the line,and ofcourse I had Jenny,she was a constant support , and then I had met Aadi who become such a good friend, that we both kind of helped each other through the process of nursing our heartbreaks.