Broken // Tom Hiddleston Fan Fiction

Chapter One

Before...

I stood strong as I watched Tom walk away from me. His body was shaking with anger following what would be our final argument, for this time we had both gone too far. It was finally over. The door to our apartment slammed shut behind him and I could hear his footsteps fading as he walked away down the corridor outside. Unable to find the strength anymore my body slid down the wall to the floor as I bowed my head into my hands and let the tears fall.

My love was gone, gone forever. We had said too many hateful things to each other these past few months to be able to recover from this. So much hate that there shouldn't be any love remaining in me towards him but there was. My heart was breaking inside at the thought that I would never see this man again.

I met Tom for the first time at Cambridge University. We were both eighteen and fresh out of school, both nervous as we wandered around during our first weeks at university. For me it was my first time away from home and away from my parents and it terrified me. I met Tom for the first time completely lost as I tried to find my way to my next class and Tom was my knight in shining armour. He had seemed to appear from nowhere asking me if I was okay. When I had told him I was lost he had immediately offered to show me to my classroom. It was only a few months later that I learnt that he too had been lost but somehow he managed to lead us in the right direction. From that day we had been inseparable. It started first as friendship but then had eventually turned into love.

We were college sweethearts convinced that we would be together forever. Juvenile to believe that nothing would break us but we were broken. The invisible bond that had held us together for seven years had long since severed into a million pieces.

Finding my feet I made my way through to what used to be our bedroom, but would now forever be only mine. The bed that would now feel huge as I would sleep in it alone at night. Clothes were strewn everywhere as Tom had attempted to pack hastily. He had too many possessions to have been able to pack and take everything now so I knew that he would be back. I also knew that Tom wouldn't want another confrontation. He would collect the rest of his belongings when he knew that I would be at work. I would just return home one evening and that would be it. The very last remnants of him would be gone. Any sign of me ever having known him gone.

His light blue shirt lay crumpled on the floor by the wardrobe. I was surprised it was still here. It was one of his favourites and I would have thought it would have been one of the first things he had packed. Picking it up I instantly held it to my face. The fabric soft against my skin and that was when it hit me. His smell. The shirt still held his scent which without even thinking I inhaled. The scent I would never get to smell again. Without another thought I screwed the shirt up into a ball and tucked it in to the back of my drawer. I wasn't yet ready to part with it.

I could hear my phone ringing in the other room but I didn't go and answer it. I knew it would be Tom's sister Emma phoning to find out where we were. We had been getting ready to meet her for dinner when all this had happened, our final argument. I was sure that Tom would soon fill her in and she would be yet another person I would never see again.

My reflection stared back at me from the full length mirror on my back of the wardrobe door. My face was pale, my mascara now running down my face from my tears. I looked a mess. Walking through to the bathroom I stripped off the black dress I had chosen to wear for dinner before stepping into the shower. The water cold as I hadn't allowed it enough time to warm up but I didn't care. I didn't care about anything right now. My tears never stopped as I ran the water over my face allowing the remaining remnants of my makeup to wash away. I just wished that I could also wash away the last seven years of my existence. Delete every memory of Tom from my mind to ease the pain I was currently going through. If only love were that simple. I slumped down in the bath allowing the shower to continue to run over me as I tucked my body up into a ball rocking back and forward.

I knew that even if it were possible to delete the images of my past that wasn't going to stop me from knowing about Tom's life. Seeing his daily life posted across the worlds media, his career, his future lovers, as now Tom's life had just become public. He was the next up and coming star just cast as Loki in the highly anticipated fourth film of the Marvel Cinematic Universe. He had received that big break into Hollywood he had been waiting for, but that had come at a huge cost... me.

For I was Tom Hiddleston's first love...