All I Want (Completed)

Present - ii

Arthit heads home after a grueling long day at the office. He looked at the clock as he stepped inside his apartment. It was already past 9 pm. He dreaded the hours to come. In the office, at least he can keep his mind occupied. At home, not so much. Actually, his home doesn't have much other than the four bare walls of each room.

He hasn't had time or interest in decorating it. Kongpob had offered to help him spruce it up, but he rejected the idea as he thinks it's a waste of time and money. He reasoned that he only slept here with his eyes shut, so who cares what's on the walls.

Arthit takes his takeaway rice box out of it's bag, and starts eating at his little dining table. It's the fourth day in a row that he has had this same fried rice from the same little restaurant downstairs. Maybe tomorrow he will order his other usual from across the street.

Arthit pulls out his phone to check for messages. He had avoided doing so for the whole day already since seeing his boyfriend this afternoon. Holding his breath, he tapped on the screen, and voila....

Nothing.

There was absolutely nothing. There wasn't even work messages, but that's probably because he was working the whole time. Arthit restarted his phone to make sure it was up to date, and working properly.

Shouldn't his boyfriend at least give him more details about Chiang Mai if he really wanted him to go. Surely, just tossing a ticket to someone's face doesn't mean you really want them to go. Fine. He didn't toss it in his face, but it was just as insincere.

Seeing that there really wasn't any messages, he was about to put his phone down, but then he noticed the corner notifications on his Facebook app. He hasn't been on social media for so long that all of the apps had over a hundred notifications on them. He clicked on Facebook, and the first thing he sees is a memory post of Kongpob in a Santa hat five years ago today. He looked so young and happy.

He looked at a few more memory posts, and they were all the same. These were all posts Kongpob tagged him in, but he wasn't actually there. He never did accompany Kongpob to any of his company's Christmas parties. He was never interested in the awkward introductions that would ensue if he had gone. These people had no business in their relationship, so why bother to complicate things. And that is still true as of today. People would only gossip and judge them, so why give them more to talk about.

Why can't Kongpob just focus on work more? Why can't they just be the way they are? They are adults now. They don't need others approval, and others don't need to know. They don't live at home anymore, so it's not like their parents can force them to do anything either.

Arthit is convinced that this is all ridiculous. He shouldn't be dwelling on all of this. It's like a broken record. Every once in a while Kongpob would be like this. Kongpob would ask if he still loved him?  When can they come out? What about their future? They would usually get in an argument, and then after a few days Kongpob's senses would come back, and they would be okay again. This time is no different. Albeit, Kongpob has never returned his gear before, but it's the same more or less. If Kongpob's grandmother is really dying, it's not like he would be the miracle that could save her.