Feelings

Unwanted.

Adj. 1. unwanted - not wanted; not
needed;

As I spent my night thinking about people in my life who genuinely wants to spend their time with me. I realize the number is zero.

As I listen to the music warming my insides, accompanying me in the lonely times I have spent wondering what I'd do with my life once everyone's gone.

I laught at my own joke, but the laugh containing more self-pity than humour. There's nothing like Everyone in my life to be gone, coz they already did.

I let my mind drift back to the place, the time I had spent with people.

Talking, laughing. Hi-5's exchanged along with insults thrown but none taken seriously.

. The monster with me still there.

The monster telling me, " You don't belong here."

Taunting me. Don't expect them to want you, to need u. You're UNWANTED.

The monster being the realization of not being wanted itself.

When it's time for taking sides, I'm not on anyone's side. Nobody wants me to be with them.

When it's time for protecting the one you love, I'm not the one whom people try to protect. They don't want to protect me. I stand there protecting myself. Defending myself.

While others try to figure out, whom to choose.

  I stand there, wondering Why Nobody chose me?

While there are bunch of people fighting over one human. My mind notices there are none over me. Not even a bug.

Sure, everybody's with me but I'm not the one they love.

Or, the one thinking they love me, is not near me. Not with me.

Leaving me to feel Unwanted in the midst of a crowd.

Not like people don't notice me.

Not like they don't talk to me.

They do. They talk to me. When they have no one else to talk to. When they're bored out of their minds.

They notice me. When I'm the only person present. When everybody else is gone. When I'm not hid by other Important,  Wanted humans.

When they have no other choice.

Pondering over such thoughts, truthful thoughts, hurtful thoughts, I want to ask. To shout.

What's wrong with me?!

Am I not really needed in their life?

Am I not Breathing?! Then why don't they know me?

Why don't they feel me?!

I realize how pathetic excuse of a life I live.

Wanting to get noticed.

    Wanting to get wanted.
         Wanting to be missed.
        

I'm equivalent to a ghost who's not noticed. Atleast it scares people.

Me on the other hand,

Just invisible.

Just unrequired.

Just UNWANTED.