If You Have a Shitty Parent

I Blamed Myself

My issues started when I was too young to even know they were problems.

I didn't trust people,

I thought I knew better than everyone else,

I was too proud of myself.

Once I got into middle school, these problems changed.

On top of not trusting other people, I didn't trust myself.

I went from knowing everything to being unsure of everything.

But the worst one was the transition from loving myself to hating myself

and wishing I could be anyone but me.

In high school these things just continued to get worse.

I felt like a burden to everyone.

Like I was incapable of loving, which made me impossible to love.

Like everyone around me would be happier if I was dead.

I always thought this was my fault. That I had done something wrong.

I'm in college now and I'm trying to teach myself how to love me again.

I'm trying to learn how to let people in and be a normal human.

I'm trying my absolute best to be the exact opposite of the seed you planted in me.