Playing by the Rules

Bitter Beginnings

[To the last slice of pizza, who says she's a huge fan of my work, despite the fact that I won't even call it work. Little does she know, I'm a huge fan of her's too.]

Note: this chapter has been completely edited, because let's face it: the previous one sucked.

-------------------------------------------------------------------

It was quite an odd feeling, being broken.

It felt surreal, almost. You’d feel like it wasn’t even happening to you; that is, if it weren’t for the constriction in your chest and the weight of worry on your head. Your quivering chin, your shaking hands, are they really yours anymore?

Have you ever wondered what happens to the tiny pieces your heart has broken into? Yeah, well, they’re the tiny needles and shards poking your aching chest. Heartbreak burns. 

And this is coming from a person who hasn’t even experienced it firsthand. People always mentioned the pain of their own heartbreak. Never had I heard the heartbreak arising from the one of your loved ones. People never mentioned the groundbreaking truth about heartbreak being contagious.

“Tell me when you want to talk about it,” I whispered soothingly. 

Naina nodded silently. It was a very imperceptible nod, but since I had been accustomed to her movements before I could even spell my own name, I caught it.

She was still gazing out, staring at the headlights of the speedy cars as they zoomed by, each in a hurry, each for a different reason. 

We were sitting on the roof of her apartment, our legs dangling off the ledge. My cup of hot chocolate, courtesy of her mom, layer clutched in my hand. Her laid abandoned next to her, already getting cold. 

“If you don’t want to talk about it…” I said uncertainly.

She shook her head again. “No. Give me some time. I…I just need to clear this out.” 

I didn’t know what ‘this’ was. I didn't know how long ‘some time’ was. All I knew was my best friend needed me. And that’s all I needed to know.

I followed the motion of cars lambent headlights, the blinding lights of the Big Apple night life, the refulgence of restraint tears in Naina’s soft eyes. 

I shifted closer to her and hugged her. She resisted at first, but then her grip on my sweater tightened. Her long straight black hair prickled my neck. I felt her tear riding down my shoulder. 

“You okay, there?” 

A watery laugh escaped her mouth, and she withdrew from the embrace, “Just peachy.”

“You need to get it out of your system,” I reassured. Rule no.1 - Never make it seem like you are eager to hear the story, make them think they are eager to tell you.

She looked hesitant, but continued anyway, “Before you ask, it’s not about Calvin. Well, not all of it anyway. Um…it’s about everything really,” she paused and took a sip of her cold chocolate (?), “ Remember when we were little and I told you I wanted to be a doctor?”

I nodded. Rule no. 2- Never disrupt a person while they’re talking about something serious. Makes them reluctant to continue with the story.

“I don’t know what’s happening to me. I- just, don’t, anymore. I always wanted to save lives, but now I can’t even save my own from puberty’s clutches, y’know? I don’t know what I’m going to do with my future. I’ve known all my life and I just don’t anymore. It’s just so…empty, you know?”