dancing in the darkest rain

prologue

There's something almost devastating when one mentions the idea of soulmates. That somewhere in the universe the other half of your heart is in search of you—the missing piece of your soul.

When I first met Saint, none of the soulmate stuff occurred to me. From the moment I laid eyes on him, he was nothing more than a thundercloud that rained on me every day. I allowed myself to be naïve that I lost myself in return. I did what I could to make him believe in something more – believing in me. Instead, he made me believe in the impossible; that he could put anyone before himself.

I thought I knew what love was from the books and movies I desired so deeply, but I could not have been any more wrong. I forced myself to let go of my standards because I thought it was what I deserved.

I convinced myself that he was what I deserved.

Our story has highs and lows, and the constant cycle we put ourselves through was not the fairytale romance I dreamed of.

He was an angel from hell. Each time one of us tried to walk out the door, the door just never locked behind us. It always remained open and allowed one of us to walk back into each other's life whenever we felt like it.

Someone once told me that if two people are meant to be together, then they are never apart. That the world made you for one person, even if you are not meant to be together at the time. That's the funny part about soulmates. We're told that we won't ever feel complete without the other half of our heart and soul.

But after everything, I would rather be soulless than to ever fall in love again. No book could have prepared me for this kind of love and heartache.

I truly thought he would choose me. To set aside the drugs and money and fame for once and to think realistically.

As I am standing alone in this airport, I start to realize that I could not have been more wrong. Time and time again I let this man take the leftover pieces of the woman I used to be. He molded and chiseled my body like it was clay until I became what he wanted, not what he needed.

Flight 24D to Chicago now boarding.

Our story doesn't start in this cold forsaken airport. It begins on the banks of a river so pure, and the love that I trapped myself under for years all began when the sun first smiled at the moon.