A Sliver of Infinite

chapter 26

Waking up curled into Dane's arms that next morning, I couldn't help but stare at him. He was still sleeping so peacefully. His long eyelashes shining against the upper part of his cheeks in the morning sun, his pouty pink lips making him look like that little boy on the tracks again, youthful and innocent. I softly brushed some of his longer hair back off his forehead then ran my fingers ever so gently down his cheek. His breathing was slow and steady and I found I wanted to stay like this forever, right here, under my touch, in our own little bed of safety, comfort, and love. I softly touched my lips to his pouty lips to kiss him without waking him. I was totally smitten.

My life before I fell in love with Dane seemed like it was all in black and white. With him, I'd found all the color I never knew I needed. It made me think differently, act differently, some good, some bad. I was teetering on the brink of insanity with the love and passion I felt for him.

It amazed me that it was even possible to truly know someone to the depth that I knew Dane. We could sense each other in a completely new dimension, one in which we didn't even need to communicate. Dane knew how I was feeling yesterday, he knew my outburst wasn't geared towards him but my own insecurities, and what he did with that was real love. He understood. He accepted me wholeheartedly, without any equivocation, and his love for me never changed. He didn't go through the process of holding it against me, or holding it over my head. He gave me time to calm down and process my emotions and then he let it go. This man changed me. I would never be the same again and I didn't want to be. I'd experienced a new wonder of the universe and I'd be damned if I let it fade through my little telescope.

However strong my emotions, I really needed to reign myself in a bit. I was my truest self with him almost to a fault. The perfect outside demeanor that was Dakota, was truthfully, a little jealous, a little emotional, a little flawed. Dane loved my flaws because he said it showed I couldn't control who I was as much as I always tried. I let go with him completely and that was all he needed, however, I couldn't let my own faults destroy us.

The gravitational force that brought us together had drawn itself inward so fast and so hard, that its inevitable collapse was on the brink. Little did I know, like the stars themselves, our fundamental gravitational collapse would lay the structure for our formation in the universe forever. 

Dane woke to me still sitting there stroking his cheek, taking in that little moment of time I was only given, just once, to appreciate him. 

"How long have you been awake?" he asks in his sexy scratchy morning voice.

"Only a few minutes." I lied, smiling back at him. 

He let out a long sigh, grinning at me.

"You're beautiful." 

"You're beautiful." I said back, matching his grin.

"I was going for ruggedly handsome, but beautiful works." he laughs, showing me all of his perfect smile. 

"I'm sorry Dane." I say quietly, staring into those chocolate eyes.

"Kodi, we already hashed this out, everything's fine. I've forgiven you. I understand where you were coming from, and I love you." he says, sitting up on one elbow, reaching out to rub the side of my face.

"I know I just can't get over how awful I was to you. You didn't deserve any of that. It was so wrong of me and I hate myself for it." I admit.

New tears begin forming again at how upset I still am at myself.

"Baby, we all make mistakes sometimes. If your biggest mistake was simply loving me too much, it's hardly a bad one. I understand what you were feeling, and I know you didn't mean what you said. I know your heart. Now you just need to find a way to forgive yourself." he says in the kindest, softest tone, pinching my chin between his thumb and forefinger.