Notes:I hope you don't mind a bit of humor, I had a really shitty night-so many customers decided to yell at me it's not even funny. I needed something lighthearted.
Beta read by some lovely people on the Maribat Discord server.
Bruce is done. So painfully done, that the only one who can't see just how thin a line he's walking is the source of his annoyance. Hal Jordan, the very man who makes homicide look more appealing every day. Did Bruce really need a moral code?
It just seemed to get in the way.
From behind him doors slam, people scatter, and yet Hal won't catch the hint. "All I'm saying is that, isn't it time you guys settled down, and had a whole flock of little birdies?"
Bruce has never, not once in his life, desired friends. He hadn't wanted a relationship either, yet here he is, six months into a decades in the making relationship with Clark Kent. If Bruce had known that the League would take his relationship as a sign of him getting soft, he would have sworn Clark to secrecy.
"I'm going to the training room." Which should have roughly translated to 'follow me, and I'll use you for target practice'. Several people within hearing distance shudder at the implication. Bruce is darkly satisfied; he hasn't seen this much fear directed at him in months. Hal Jordan, well Bruce has theories on how green lantern cores affect intelligence.
None of them are particularly positive.
"It's never too early to start working on your ninja kid army," Hal says lightly, as if he's talking about the weather, and not something as morally bankrupt as child soldiers. Sure he trained Robin young, but it's not like Bruce had a choice. Dick would have been fighting mob bosses with or without his consent. Training had been the only thing keeping him out of even more danger. "Who's going to carry on your terrifying legacy?"
"I already have Robin." And because Bruce can see Hal's next sentence before he even says it— "And Clark has Conner. Aside from procreation being wholly unnecessary, it's also physically impossible. You are aware that it requires a woman to produce off-spring, right?"
"Yeah, tell that to LexCorp," Hal mumbles under his breath. Bruce would be lying if he said he hadn't ever wondered about that. Sure Conner's a clone, but he's also the most stable clone Bruce had ever seen. He wouldn't put it past Luthor to have spliced in a secondary set of DNA. "Just think about it Spooky. Combine your brains with Clark's powers and bam! You've got the one person on earth who could defeat Doomsday without breaking a sweat. Isn't that a better tomorrow?"
Bruce stops, because things make a lot more sense now. Doomsday had been terrifying, he opened up a whole world of possibilities. Of threats too strong for the League to deal with, just waiting. There's no escaping this conversation. Even if he tunes it out now, Hal will just bring it up again and again, until Clark finally catches on. That will make the man pout.
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Who Needs Paperwork?(Maribat)
FanfictionFor a prompt on my Tumblr, submitted by Anonymous: Maribat prompt- Bruce adopts Marinette, please? Complete one-shot.