OVER YOUR LOVE

Preface.

Tove Lo — Stay High.

Pain isn't the most terrifying feeling...
At last, when you understand who you are at the end of the day, you might feel a sense of empty; internal silence crawling inside and rotting every inch of your soul. All contained positive, sweet-like emotions are faded away, and most importantly, forgotten, like Fall's leaves in the beginning of December.

"Another night - another club."

By midnight, on a Friday, most clubs were bottled with drunken people. Surrounding by my so-called "best friends", I gamely entered the very first discotheque that strolled my way. The tiny, partially broken staircase led underground, and to the main entrance. People inside were semi-dead, with dilated and corrupted pupils gazing all around the dance floor. The appeared young, roughly in their twenties. Young bodies, intoxicated with ecstasy and cocaine were reluctant as the door swung open; I felt their negativity radiate towards me.

I dove deep into the club, it slowly turning into the netherworld.

Neon lights, the hypnotising beat, dirty prostitutes, dancers on the poles, people with blank faces; they were the huge part of this bloody, yet fake carnival.

The only saint place was the bar, where schemes of light gleamed like a beacon on an isolated island.

It was extremely difficult for me to get through the dancing crowds. Their actions reminded me of demonic rituals, rather than typical grooves one might witness at a night club. Finally, sneaking into the bar, Gwen whispered her order to the handsome Dutch bartender. Gwen was pale, with a bare freckles around her nose. She dressed in a plaid crop top and ripped jeans, despite the freezing Amsterdam weather. She swept her long ginger hair and placed herself at one of the chairs, tapping her fingers against the table.

"Where's Jessica?" I asked, skimming the area around, but no vision of a familiar face was reckoned to be seen.

"She's here...probably sniffing cocaine with some dorks," she paused as the bartender placed two pinkish beverages on a table, "or blowing someone in the bathroom."

Gwen made face, clearly disgusted. She couldn't stand her friends who were keen to "slutty" behaviour. Of course, she was jealous. Jess was far more attractive and have always had attention from guys than Gwen did.

"Cheers!" we both exclaimed and took a sip, the sweet taste of liquor and fresh cherries clouding my body. Sip by sip, and I again felt myself. All the images of the past suddenly started projecting, as If my head was a film, but eyes were a projector. I needed to dance this off.

"I'm going to the dance floor," I said, but Jessica just ignored me. She was too busy drinking and looking for someone who could invite her to the private place.

Dance floor was on fire. People were crazy raving. Their faces were filled by excited emotions.

I was trying to get into the beat, but it was difficult. I felt like I was a small boat dripping in a huge waves during the storm. I was lonely and was about to sink.

"Hey," I heard the croaky male's voice. I turned around slowly, looking at the person, who, I guess, was a ray of the Sun in this God forsaken place. "You looked like you don't belong in here."

"Really?" I quickly replied, looking into his wolfish hazel eyes. His blond hair were elegantly falling across his elbow.

"You're too angelic for this devilish place," he smiled, showing his teeth. He touched my hands and I felt something on my hand. Something small and oval. "Be happy, even though there is no a silver lining."

He rapidly put his hands into the pocket, stepped back. He looked deeply into my eyes, as If he had a power to get into someone's soul and see all the past moments. He disappeared unexpectedly, mingling with the crowd.

When I looked into his 'present', I was totally taken aback. A white pill flaunted in my hands.

Slowly I went to the bathroom, pushing apart uncontrollable people. Bathroom, for instance, wasn't full. Locked myself in of the cabins, I set on a toilet seat. I felt as If I was in a huge bunker that was covered with graffiti and stickers.

Without overthinking, I swallowed ecstasy pill. The main door was opened and the loud music  scared me and stunned me for a few seconds. The door was shut and I heard a girl crying.

Typical party night. She couldn't stop crying, as If she saw her crash kissing with somebody else.

I unlocked the door and quickly went off. Bass music literally crashed my body bones into many pieces.

"You slut," I heard. "Where you were?"

Little did I know that It was addressed to me. Jessica looked so angry yet devastated.

"I have the same question," I couldn't looked at her because of the bright light, which was like a halo on top of her head.

"I almost got rapped!" she raised her voice making me the only one to be blamed in this situation. Normal people would be completely shocked hearing this, but I wasn't. I didn't feel anything, even pithiness. "Thanks for your support and help, Effie."

Jessica looked at me angrily. I saw tears pouring down from her dark eyes. She left quickly, leaving a strong smell of cigarettes. But I continued dancing and waiting for the sunlight that could bless my rotten soul.