1989

This Love

Authors note: *mild trigger warning* (mention of self harm and drug use).

I chose not to name the other male character used in this chapter. It's up to you if you want him to be based on a person in Demi's real life or simply a random male.

Clear blue water, high tide came and brought you in
And I could go on and on, on and on, and I will

Wilmer's POV:

All of a sudden I saw her face from across the room. My eyes instantly locked on her and I knew I had to speak to her. She was breathtakingly beautiful but there was also this radiance I couldn't put my finger on. She was a breath of fresh air. I plucked up my courage, wiped my sweaty palms on my jeans and went over to where she was reading lines. "Hi" I said boldly, sitting next to her. She looked up from her script for a second, looked back down before saying "Hey" in return. I could tell she was trying to play it cool. "What's your name?" I asked her trying to remain smooth. She put down her script and looked me in the eyes. I instantly felt a connection; my heart rate speeding up a beat. "Demi. Demi Lovato". I nodded and held out my hand for her to shake, "I'm Wilmer. Wilmer Valderrama". She smiled slightly. It was only a small smile but I knew right there and then she had the most beautiful and contagious smile on earth. "It's a pleasure to meet you. So why did you want to get involved with this PSA?" I notice her cheeks blush a little while her fingers fidget against each other as she gives me an answer about wanting to use her voice for good and make a difference in this world. I couldn't put my finger on what it was but I had never been so captivated by anyone quite like this. Everything about her was perfect. I do my best to listen to her answer and see she is finished, waiting for a response. I nod and smile; "I think it's so awesome that you're brave enough to step out and start talking about politics". I lean in and gently put my hand on her arm. The moment our skin connects it is like a million shocks of electricity shooting through my body. I feel alive. I pull my hand away and rest it on my lap before looking up and locking eyes with her. I think she felt it too, I think to myself. At least, I hope she did.

Skies grew darker, currents swept you out again
And you were just gone and gone, gone and gone

How was I meant to live without her smile? How was I meant to carry on without her? Not wake up with her in my arms or go to sleep with a smile on my face after she fell asleep on skype. I knew this was for the best and I was proud she was finally accepting the help she needed but I couldn't bare the thought of her not being by my side. Although what scared me the most was this; how was she going cope without me? Whether I liked it or not, I had become her rock. If she needed someone at 3am in the morning, it was me she called. When she woke up screaming because of a nightmare, who do you think pulled her into their arms? She needed me and I needed her. We had a connection that no one else could understand. There are times when I don't even understand it. I wasn't supposed to fall in love with a 19 year old woman.. but I did. I wasn't supposed to fall in love at all. I didn't do "love". But she was different. She changed everything. She taught me how to love and how to see the world in a different light. I never wanted to shift my perspective again because she had filled my dark world with colour, she had shown me how beautiful life could be, she gave me purpose. Yet now she was gone and the world didn't seem so bright. The skies appeared darker and my purpose was fading. I knew I had to stay strong, for her at least but right now I am overcome with grief and anger. If only I had done more. If only I was enough for her to stop. If only I could make it all better. If only. I couldn't bare the thought of losing her. I couldn't. But what happens now? She's there and I'm here. I can't text her, call her, visit her. It's like I'm about to wake up and learn this was all a dream and that she doesn't really exist. What if she came out and no longer loved me? What if she never got better? What if she doesn't make it? What if things change and we can never get what we have back? What if. I can't believe this is happening. When did I get in so deep? I loved her with every ounce of my being. I would give up everything if I could stop her pain. I just wish I could see into the future and know everything was going to be ok. My heart hurts. I feel empty. I just hope she's ok. She needs to be ok. Please be ok