Suffering

I have a crush on this guy, and... The thing is...he has a girlfriend. Plus that she is older and better looking than me.

   She is 19 and he is 14, but they still look like the happiest couple in the world. Plus that my dad is seven years older than my mom, so it's not that big of a deal.

  I just feel my hearth ache when I see them together, but I also want him to be happy. He seems so happy with his girlfriend and I don't want to ruin his happiness.

I feel like if I would be his girlfriend he would never feel that happy. I feel like I am not good enough for him.

I'm forced to watch them almost everyday after school. The way they tease eachother, or just simply the way they smile when they're together makes me happy for him, but it still hurts. And I hate the fact that I am jealous. I hate it that I am jealous of someone who I don't even know. I don't hate her, or him. I wish them happiness, believe me.

It's just that little hope I have that maybe, just maybe, he could like me. I always ask myself how could I be this stupid.

I watch him everyday, being happy with his life, with his girlfriend.