The Diary of Kim Namjoon

7-

There was no sight of Soekjin around the house since Namjoon's birthday, expect his distant silhouette on the other side of his and Namjoon's shared room.

2Days later 

"Seokjin?"-Namjoon tapped the boy, whose figure was facing the blank wall.
"I'm sorry for everything that happened I-I didn't, I mean, we were never than close for you to you know... open up?!"- Namjoon was throwing out words questioning each time whether he was saying something that at least could sound comforting.

What am I doing? He's never going to talk to me? Namjoon murmured in his head before feeling his hands being stroked carefully by Seokjin's own.

"Namjoon, you didn't do anything, don't worry about it, Okay?"-Seokjin faced him with doe eyes. But under those alluring eyes, heavy bags, and puffy reddish eyes of lack of sleep were visible, although the dim lighting of the room, would manage to light just a small proportion of the room's ceiling.

Namjoon unconsciously found himself caressing Seokjin's upper cheeks. His long fingers would carefully place themselves on the soft pale skin, before detaching themselves, and repeating the action once again.

"We'll get through this- I may be young, but I'm not oblivious of the world outside, I'm not blind Seokjin, I'm aware that there is war, I'm aware that we are in danger, I'm aware that our lives are hanging on a thin string, but we should not give up."- Namjoon's words echoed through the empty room, as his tone unconsciously raised his voice.

He begun walking and stumbling backwards as he distanced himself from Seokjin's figure.
He bowed and excused himself after murmuring a soft "I'm sorry- I didn't mean to shout..."

Once again, darkness engulfed Seokjin, once the door of the room shut.

But before the door shut Seokjin uttered under his breath "Don' br so foolish Namjoon, we both know there is no hope.", but what the latter failed to realise is that those words didn't fail to make contact with Namjoon's ear.

Namjoon, found himself running to the bathroom and closing the door behind him. He placed each of his palms on the sink, grasping as hard as he can, while he made contact with the oval mirror in front of him.

"I hate you Kim Namjoon, I hate you so much. Who are you even? Who are you? You're no one"- he whispered under his breath. By each word his breathing become heavier, and his vision became blurry. The tears streamed down like a river on his cheeks, pouring his heart into them.

"No... no, that's not it, I won't let them- I won't let them place a finger on me or my family, that bastard that has no hope can die by himself." -His tone grew louder, and with a moment lost in his own world, he hit the mirror.

Broken glass pieces slowly marked his hand with blood. Namjoon's body fell to the ground, pulling his hands tight on his torso and squeezing himself, till more tears paved their way down his now hot cheeks.

"God, why does no one see my pain?"-he mumbled under his soundless sobs.

"Namjoon, open the door, Namjoon open don't do something stupid, Namjoon I'm sorry, just open the door."-Seokjin's voice was heard from the other side of the door.

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A/N: Okay, I just wanna say that I'm so so so so soooooo proud of the boys and their awards in both MAMA and MMA. Their performance was incredibly beautiful, everything about it, I was shook through the whole MMA performance, they out do themselves each time. Please keep supporting them, Tae was quite sad in his VLIVE, I'm sure many of you saw it. Plz take care of them, they give their everything to us, so let's try to give them back at least something nice.

I purple you, thank you for reading my story, it literally makes me soooo happy 💜💜💜.