Ch 2: saying yes

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The funeral was over. I got home after four days of sleep outside. A night in the hospital and three nights in the funeral. I had a hard time getting myself to sleep tonight.

The secret agent offer. What do I do? My dad's cause of death is probably his job, except the reporters will never know and let out stupid articles that don't make sense.

On the second day of the funeral, when I got a bit more hold of myself I made a promise to with me. A promise that I would not be like my dad. That I would not be a secret agent. That I will not risk my life. And that I would never have a government job because the government can and will eliminate agents once they are useless to them.

Probably there are other people like me. Family members of a secret agent left without a family member, except I have none left. Dead mom. Dead dad. No family left. Just on my own now.

Tears rolled down my cheeks. I can feel my cheeks burning up. I was angry. Angry with the government. Frustrated at my dad and his job. My mom who left me.  My dad who might've known about my mom's death. Uncles who won't tell me anything.

My thoughts were tangling. I needed Advil. I shuffle through the medicines, but it's not there. Fuck. Nothing's working out. I lay back on my bed drawing my thoughts together.

I finally come to a conclusion that accepting the offer will be the only way to answer my questions. No one will answer my questions. I had to find the answers on my own. I had to find out why my dad died and if the government is involved or anyone else and whether he knew about mom's death or not. And anything I hadn't known.

I will figure it out. Finish whatever my dad was investigating or doing. Because I'm his daughter.

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