A Problematic Feeling

さくら

 I've been working in Musutafu for a little over a year now, at a cute little flower shop in the outer circle of the central city. It's a nice and quiet area- part of the reason I moved here, but still sometimes I'm amazed by the people who walk through the door. Like this insanely tall man with blonde hair on the opposite side of the shop. He's definetly too skinny for his own good, and his clothes are so large he's swimming in them- somehow though despite that I cant keep my eyes off of him. As he moves around I can feel the tenseness in his body, he's walking towards one of my co-workers, a modest woman with beautiful green hair. I take their conversation as my cue to stop staring and get back to watering the exotic plants near me, but just as I do I briefly catch piercing blue eyes with my brown lensed one. I force my body not to freeze and wait until I'm hidden behind a wall of greenery to let the shiver run down my back. I really hope Rin didn't cue him in on my staring, she's a great woman to work with, but is obsessed with setting everyone in the shop up with somebody at all costs- and for some reason its usually my dignity.. 

I take a breather to focus again on my work and begin to busy myself with the shelf of special plants in front of me, watering, pruning, and rearranging  them if one was getting too much or not enough light. Right as a snip the last leaf I need to take care of I feel a looming presence behind me. A very deep and gruff voice sounds off causing me to jump slightly and drop the scisors in my hand. I apologise a few times in English due to how startled I am, I correct myself and grab the pruners off the floor, turning to the customer behind me and addressing him in japanese. 

As my greeting dies in my mouth i can see a giddy looking Rin just out of the corner of my eye. Of course she had caught me oogling him, of course she sent him over to me, of course he was way taller and more attractive then i thought. OF COURSE I AM PANICING. Roaring thoughts aside the man infront of me offered a weary smile and apologized for startling me, reaching his hand behind to rub at his neck.

"Ah, no need to apologize Sir! I was just too caught up in what I was doing- nothing to be sorry for, I assure you!" I can feel my face heat up and for a split second I thank whatever gods that the foundation i wear to cover my freckles is enough to hide the blood rushing to my face, and that I managed not to stutter though that sentence. I attempt to put on my kindest smile for him before continuing, making sure he has no time to insist on his apology. "So what could I help you with today? Exotics? Seasonal plants?"

"Um, actually your co-worker over there said you could help me make a flower arrangement? One of my colligues at work fell ill- and I'd like to bring them flowers." I can tell by the way he shifts his body and darts his eyes down in the slightest, that 'fallen ill' was being modest about it.

"Oh my, I'm very sorry to hear that! Of course- lets get you to the room over here where we keep the snipped plants" As he moves ahead of me towards the room I pointed to, I find Rin trying to look inconspicous across the store and send her the best glare I can with my bangs blocking half my face. I frown as she gives me a thumbs up, as if this interaction is going to go somewhere. I catch up with our customer and open the door for him as I brace myself for the intimacy required to put together someones emotions into a bouquet. 

Once we finish we're left with a simple but meaningful arrangement, that honestly I wouldn't expect from a man like the one before me. Whatever happened, this guy feels guilt for. When I make it to the register I notice Rin hovering. Wisping around doing little things to busy herself, but always just in sight of the cash register. I know exactly what she's doing, what she's waiting for. Her eyes sparkle as i place the flowers in a vase and delicately tie it with a blue and gold ribbon. I'd be lying if i said it was just the closest to me, I know it matches the strangers hair and eyes, Rin knows. I ask the man if he'd like anything else, and after a very polite "no, thank you", I begin putting in all the information for his purchase. Rin sweeps closer to me as I press the buttons, i leave out the vase, the ribbon, and thankfully a loud truck passes by us and takes the customers attention away as I scowl in defeat and use Rin's "special" discount. The smile returns to my face despite the humilition I feel in my bones, watching Rins victory dance towards the front of the store. I tell him the total and he pauses, asking why it was so cheap- and Rins quick on the trail, yelling from her post that we're having a sale today. Thankfully he doesn't question it much more and he hands me the yen. 

"Thank you for visiting! Please come again in the future." As I'm handing him his flowers his hands accidentally brush over mine, and I cant hide the twitch of a jump when it happens. "Oh- Sorry! Have a nice day Sir" He offers me a slight smile and I find myself thankful for the makeup again.

"Thank you for helping with picking the flowers, I really appreciate it Mr..?"

"O-Oh, just call me Sakura, please!" 

"Ah I apologise - I thought-" I see his face redden in embarrassment and I have to restrain myself from fawning over his expression.

"Actually that doesn't matter! He-She-They-It- its all the same to me, no harm done! If you'd like, you can call me Kuraku- its a nickname essentially. Uh- sorry for rattling, please refer to me as whatever makes you comfortable." I was just short of writhing in my own skin when he chuckled, Rin in the background clearly extatic about how head over heels I was about this sweet man.

"Kuraku it is then" He gives me a thumbs up but no name, and I'm too far past my emotional limit to ask him for it as he turns and walks out past my nosy co-worker. She shuffle runs over to me and begins to fawn and coo over my crush, throwing salt in my wounds as I pray this feeling dies off fast and that I never run into that man again.