Auf Wiedersehen, Sweetheart

Chapter 11

Feliciano was not sure what woke him. It may have been the single ray of grey dawn light that drifted across his eyes, or the unfamiliar creaking of wooden beams, or the sudden cold that crept over his skin now that the fire had finally burnt out. All he knew, immediately, was that Ludwig was gone. He rolled over slowly into the empty space beside him and ran his hand over it. Feliciano had known he would wake like this. But he still felt empty, aching, cold, like half of him had been torn away. He rested his head against the hay, closed his eyes, and clutched at the last touch and memory of Ludwig. He was just drifting back to sleep when he heard the barn door creak open.

"Feliciano?"

Half insensible, Feliciano furrowed his brows in confusion. "Ludwig?" he mumbled. He turned slowly, drowsily, at the voice, then blinked the sleep out of his eyes. The cold morning came rushing in. "Grandpa?" Feliciano quickly looked down. Oh, thank goodness... he had his pants on.

"Feli, oh thank God, thank God!" Grandpa Roma ran across the room, dropped to his knees, and pulled Feliciano into a bruising hug. After a few stunned, baffled, rather uncomfortable moments, Feliciano lightly tapped Roma on the shoulder.

"Can't breathe."

Roma pulled back and Feliciano gulped for air. "I looked everywhere," gasped Roma. His eyes were red, his hair wild and uncombed. He looked exhausted. "I searched all night, everywhere, and I thought... I was almost sure... Oh, Feli, I'm so sorry." Roma pulled Feliciano into his arms again. "Are you all right, tell me you're all right!"

Feliciano was not sure what to say. He wasn't sure how he was supposed to react. But he was sad, and he was hurting, and this was his Grandpa, who always made those bad things go away. Feliciano breathed in relief and clung to Grandpa Roma, wanting to believe he could make everything all right again. "I'm all right, Grandpa. I thought you hated me."

"Never, Feli. Forgive me for saying such awful words. Forgive me for my moment of madness. If I hadn't found you... oh, God, if I hadn't found you..." Roma could not finish the sentence. And Feliciano was so tired of crying.

.

The morning sun filtered through the kitchen windows, bathing the small room in a familiar golden light. The storm had passed as though it had never been. Feliciano sat opposite Grandpa Roma, staring at his hands on the table, completely unsure how to act in this strange, unfamiliar situation. Roma did not seem angry, had been nothing but kind and concerned since they had walked home from the barn, but Feliciano knew that he had to be furious. After what Feliciano had done by warning Ludwig, after the night he had spent away and Roma had spent looking for him, after the words Roma had spoken the afternoon before - how could Grandpa Roma be anything but angry?

"What did Antonio tell you?" asked Feliciano tremulously.

"He told me you have made friends with a German pilot. And that you informed him of the Americans landing tomorrow." Roma sounded too calm.

"I'm sorry Grandpa. I never wanted him to tell anyone, I was trying to stop him from going back to the base... I was only trying to save him, that's all, I wasn't trying to betray..."

"I know that, Feliciano." Feliciano looked back down at the table and waited for Roma to continue. He didn't.

"Have I ruined everything?"

"We've had to change plans. Hopefully... things will be all right." Feliciano nodded, realising that Roma was not going to tell him anymore than that. Feliciano wondered just how much he would be allowed to know from now on. "This German is more than a friend, isn't he?"

The question threw Feliciano off guard. His stomach turned cold. He gulped heavily and looked up slowly, wide eyed and scared. But Roma still did not look angry.