Like Moths to Flames

Baby

Another week of hell.
School please just stop, I drag through sport, math, english ect
Everyday I receive a message from Jacob, he seems really excited about his new apprenticeship and a welder, I dont know im happy for him..

All these thoughts about him, I dont even know him.

I finaly reach the weekend. The moment I walk in my house all I hear is my stupid family fighting. I cant handle this. I barracade myself away in my room, I honestly cant handel the way they just blame eachother for their own mistakes? I start my routine checks, 

music on

sleeves up 

blade out

This feeling of the blade across my skin is the only safety in my life its the only feelings I can bare. Happiness is not an option. Happiness gets you no where. This is my routine, a few hours later of crying, cutting and sobbing my mother calls me for dinner.

Finaly the weekend arrives and ive recived and invite to a little get to gether, Keishas, I arrived woah, the same shit everytime... Litteraly everybody is getting stoned, this is boring, although... Jacob is here.. I heard him come in a minuet ago. 

"Hey Yaz, how was your day" he shoots me a toothy grin,

"yeah... alright." I kill the converstation. Nobody gets to know me.  Suddenly I am taken by surprise when he pulls me into a hug. He scent pulls me in, smelling boyish but manly.. strong and safe I suppose. Then night drones on, mindless banter, pretty much its 3 am and I decide to go to bed, I wander to the front loung room of Keishas and lie down. Im awoken to strong arms wrapped around me, his hair all wrapped up clinging to his face, his eyes slowly open reveling hazel green with a brown center staring at me.. I lean forward and peck him on the lips, im not sure why but.. he makes me.. safe, quickly I bury my face under the blankets.

"dude that was so cute" he smiles, pulling me in closer..'

" same" I laugh.. he continues to cuddle me. I fall asleep, content with my emotions for once.