The Stars that Guide Us

4

Here Comes the Sun

Chuck decided he was going to riot against the sun. He didn't quite know how he was supposed to do that but he was determined it was to happen. The sun churned his insides into a messy combination of embarrassment and disgust, and made his limbs weak and heavy.

Chuck still hadn't gotten around to discarding his shirt, but Auggie's shirt laid haphazardly on the ground next to where he sat. Auggie leaned against his arms supporting his torso, and smiled down at Chuck. Chuck blamed his warm cheeks and tingling skin on the cement he laid against.

"Aren't you going to swim?" Chuck asks, flitting his eyes away from Auggie and towards the pool,

Auggie was not going to swim without Chuck, "No, idiot, I came here with you and Stella just to watch you two swim." Auggie flicked Chuck's ear and turned towards the pool with a sigh. "Stupid..." Fell out of his mouth affectionately and a small grin lit up his face,

"You just want to stay up here to check out the girls, perv." Chuck's fighting words packed with hurt and weapons of pain shot out of his mouth and he rolled his eyes. Maybe if he had seen the despondent look on Auggie's face; the heavy lips full of sadness, and eyes concealing visceral pain; maybe he wouldn't have just heard the annoyance coating the pain like a salve, and he could have heard a heart being torn.

Auggie couldn't open his mouth to say anything. He knew Chuck truly didn't mean for it to hurt him, and why should it hurt him so much? Could it be that he's meant to check out the girls, and be interested in what is laying underneath their cute little suits and he-he-he's not? Should he try harder to look at soft curves and light laughs when all he wants to do is become absorbed and lost in the boisterous whirlwind of Chuck?

Auggie's pained-soaked brown eyes searches Chuck's for a sign that he should tell him, tell him that he doesn't even like the curves or the soft, conventional things that is supposed to be. He wants a sign so he can tell him that if he's going to be wrong, then he'd at least want to be wrong with Chuck so they can create their own universe where they'll be right.

All Chuck's eyes tell him in return is a hard reality; he's wrong and there is no one that can make him feel right; the disgust quickly rises in his throat and he looks away. Stella waves him in, and Auggie dusts off his butt as he stands, though there was no dust. Chuck narrows his eyebrows, "Where you goin'?"

"The pool." Auggie answers back, no teasing lilt or accompanying, 'idiot' or even a sarcastic reply of, 'Mars...where do you think I'm going? Not the pool, of course.' And Chuck instantly knows he did something to make Auggie uncharacteristically abrupt and detached. Chuck scrambles up from the concrete and in his haste forgets to take off his shirt while trailing after Auggie. Auggie sends an unimpressed, yet amused side glance back towards Chuck and fights off the grin trying to win the battle of uncharacteristic actions. "What, Chuck."

"Don't 'what, Chuck' me, I'm going to 'What the hell, Auggie?' you." Chuck says in pure dumbfound confusion, and he raises his arms to convey the 'importance' of his question, "What the hell, Auggie?" Auggie suppresses the grin of amusement and rolls his eyes instead. It feels good to have Chuck fussing over Auggie acting 'peculiar' though Chuck would never use that term. It feels really good. Auggie has a dangerous dose of child-like smugness because Chuck noticed a small difference, and it's driving Chuck crazy.

"I don't know what you're talking about, Chuck." Auggie decides to formulate the words of torture, and tilts his head away from Chuck to smile delicately with glee.

"Well—" Chuck begins then pauses with frustration, "Just—aren't you—shit...aren't you going to call me—I don't know—idiot or something?" Chuck's cheeks burn with embarrassment and Auggie wants to coo. Auggie is afraid that the burn on Chuck's cheeks will attract people's attention, and he's afraid they'll know his affection for such a sight.

Chuck is afraid of how attached he's becoming to Auggie's expression of affection, and sends a quick glance around his surroundings in paranoia. "Do you really want me to call you an idiot?" Auggie teases and pushes Chuck's head away from him for Chuck to round on him, and send a fist into his arm as a result.

"I don't know just stop acting so weird, man." Auggie pushes Chuck's chest, and would deny it if asked if he hesitated on removing his hands; Chuck didn't notice anything but the tingling.

"I'm not acting weird. You're acting weird."

"I'm not acting any differently, derp."

Auggie smiles, and presses an index finger into Chuck's cheek, allowing them to burn ever so brighter, "Then what's this?" Chuck slaps his hand away, glaring angrily at Auggie from embarrassment and pouting; though he'd never admit to doing either of those things.

"Its hot out. Aren't you supposed to be all nerdy, and know that, dork?" Auggie smiles widely at Chuck and the sudden intensity of the look in Auggie's eyes—like an extreme affection—increases the heat in Chuck's cheeks, and Auggie hums in the back of his throat from satisfaction. He slaps Chuck's arm lightly and looks towards Stella waving them over.

"Take your shirt off, idiot, or have you forgotten the simple guidelines of swimming?" He says absentmindedly, and Chuck's mind stutters over the words,

"Wha—wait...What?" 'Take your shirt off' am I hearing that right? Chuck stumbles, and fixates over the words, and the sun twists his stomach into a ball of nausea but the extreme confusion is worth it when Auggie chuckles, and turns his attention to Chuck.

"Swimming, stupid." Auggie's lips play with a smile, and Chuck's eyes harden with a glare,

"'Swimming, stupid.'" He mocks for lack of a better comeback. "Nerd."

"Oh wow, original. You're only jealous because I have more original thought than you." Auggie calls after Chuck as he walks to their spot on the concrete to discard his shirt.

"It's not original if you got it out of a book, and its not cool. Oh wait, it may be especially original if its not cool. I stand corrected." Chuck replies, and slips his shirt over his head before stomping back over to Auggie with a set pout of his lips and peeved eyes.

"Did you make a comeback to your comeback?" Auggie asks incredulously, smiling gently to himself, and rolling his eyes. Chuck slaps his bicep and pins him with a determined, challenging look. Auggie swallows the block in his throat.

"So, what if I did?" Auggie's hand itches and his fingers twitch with the urge to encompass Chucks hand with his own as their pinkies brush against each other and they peer out over the pool. Chuck blames the heat in his cheeks and electricity passing between their pinkies on the sun. Auggie allows him to do so because maybe Auggie should start blaming the sun too; maybe it would rid the heartbeat in his ears and his yearning palm for another palm to greet his.

Chuck pushes his pinkie against Auggie's. It is only enough pressure that could easily be blamed on normal occurrences, but insistent enough both boys understand the dangerous implications behind it. Auggie subtly pushes back and Chuck turns to gaze at Auggie and is given the gift of observing the lift of the corners of Auggie's lips, and his head tucking down to hide his smile. Chuck admires the tail end of Auggie's joy and conceals a smile of his own.

But the joy shrivels up from dehydration and heat stroke, and nausea slips and slides over each boy's body. Wrong, wrong, wrong, lumps up in their throat, and disgusting, disgusting, disgusting consumes their stomachs. Auggie looks away shamefully, and Chuck quickly pulls his pinkie away, glaring at the sun shining on the ground.

Chuck was definitely going to riot against the sun, that much he was sure of, the only problem being he didn't know how. Boys weren't supposed to feel like this, and each boy hated themselves because they were an anomaly in a world full of girls and boys.

They weren't supposed to fit in.

Auggie removes his shameful hands form around his torso and shoves Chuck's shoulder hoping to direct Chuck's attention towards him. Chuck turns towards him, eyes flaming like a terrified, desperate, confused animal, and Auggie controls his features the best he can, nodding his head towards the pool, "Swimming, stupid."

Chuck rolls his eyes, pushing the emotions back, and shoves Auggie's arm back, "'Swimming stupid.'" He scoffs, "Nerd." And when Chuck grins and dares him "Last one in the pool is a Chicken." Auggie internally sighs in relief.

Thank God for normalcy.