Decisions (WillNE x ImAllexx)

chapter 3

It's late at night. I'm already in bed, but sleepless. I'm waiting for Alex to join me, if he even does so before the morning. I check my phone and start scrolling through his Instagram. Seeing pictures of him smiling makes me happy but sad at the same time. Haven't seen that smile often lately. What can I do? How can I help him? If he doesn't want to talk, there has to be another way. Suddenly, an idea forms in my head. It has been ages since we had sex, and, even though he may feel down, he is just an human being with basic needs. Since I'm really deprived of his touch, he has to be of mine, too. 
So I stand up and walk over to his office where he is, as always, in front of his computer. I'm knocking at the door, smiling, thinking I could make ist day a little bit better. "Yeah, come on in." I hear him saying. I open up and stay in the door frame, just wearing a pair of Calvin's. "Babe, it's already late, don't you want to go to bed with me?" - "Nah, not tired just yet." he mumbles, not looking away from his screen for just one second. Alright, I think, and walk over to him. I stop behind his chair and start massaging his back. "Wow, you're really tense." I remark before I go on kissing his neck. "Yeah, as always. Feels pretty good to be honest." he declares, falling back into his chair and closing his eyes. "Well, maybe I know something that'd help..." I whisper into his ear. I walk around and sit on his lap, smiling and stroking some hair out of his face. "Whoa, what's that all about?" he says, suddenly looking shocked. "I miss you Alex, and I miss your  body. I thought we could have some fun..." - " Will, I'm not in the mood." I get off him, giving him a sad look. "But we haven't done it in such a long time... I thought some good sex could lift your mood up..." - "Will, sex is not the answer to every problem. And especially not mine." - "Well Alex, then talk to me. What are your problems? I just want to help you. I love you!" He gives me a angry glance and answers in a rather pissed tone: "Don't wanna talk 'bout it. Go to bed, I'll come after - later." - "Well, I'm not going to bed, either." I'm feeling tears dwelling up in my eyes, so I quickly leave the room. I can't do this anymore, it breaks me how depressed Alex is, and it breaks me to have such a dysfunctional relationship with him. I rush into the bedroom and throw a hoodie on, silently wiping the tears out of my face. "What do you mean you're not going to bed?" Alex shouts from the office. "I'm going for a walk." I exclaim, fleeing outside overwhelmed by my feelings.

I stroll through the night, lost, without any particular destination. What has come over me? Usually I'm not the type to flee from a conflict, but I don't know what else to do. I tried talking, I tried presents, I tried cute dates, I tried sex, what else could I do? I even suggested to Alex that he should go and see a therapist because I'm clearly not qualified to help with his problems, but he just got angry at me for that.
As I walk through the neighborhood I come by George's house. I'm noticing light in one of his windows, so I assume he's still awake. Because I'm really desperate I'll give it a try and ring his doorbell. "Will?" he says after opening the door, "what in the hell are you doing so late at night here?" - "I don't know George, I don't know." I answer, just before I burst into tears.