My Navy Alpha

Chapter 12

Chapter 12-

Austin's POV

'YOU STUPID PATHETIC HUMAN!! HOW COULD YOU? THAT IS MY MATE AND YOU MADE HER HATE US!! NOW SHE DOESN'T WANT US ALL BECAUSE OF YOU!!'

With that last rant from my wolf, he pulled out of my mind. He was gone. I could feel it. He wouldn't come back either until his mate was in his arms.

Sighing I ran a hand through my hair as I slid down the wall. The few tears I was holding in finally fell rapidly.

I pushed her. She didn't want me to mark her and I pushed her to do it anyway. Now I lost her and I probably won't get her back.

'You're so damn hopeless Austin.' I think to myself.

'Why the hell would anyone want you? Oh yeah that's right they don't, because you are stupid and pathetic. Deal with it you are not wanted here.'

I sigh one last time and wipe the tears away before standing up.

Yes, I had had self-esteem problems for many years. Yeah I know, why would a guy like you have self-esteem problems? Well when I was little my dad was always hard on me, always pointing out my flaws, even if I was better than him at it. Over the years that can damage a kid. Ever since I was twelve I knew I wasn't fit for the alpha title but I had to get it anyway. I knew that who ever my mate was I would be a big disappointment, and it seems like I am.

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Laken's POV

"And-and then he kept saying st-stupid!"

I was in Marianna Jay's room crying my eyes out to her and Kassy. My heart was literally seething and slowing down at the thought of my mate rejecting me.

"Shh- it's alright he's a jerk anyway." Kassy said, moving some hair out of my face.

"Yeah and if he's a jerk like that he doesn't deserve you anyway."

I sob louder at the thought of not being with him, my heart clenched more and my throat burned even worse than before.

Then there was a knock on the door.

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Austin's POV

The last cut quickly healed and I growled at losing the feeling. Cutting had been a bad habit of mine whenever I was stressed, angry, or sad. Pitiful, I know I had heard it all but I couldn't help it anymore. It made all the pain go away.

I had just gotten a call from the Navy Fleet Admiral. Apparently my leave was being cut short do to the lack of Navy personal off the coast of the Iranian border, the Persian Gulf.

With getting my heart broken and getting called back in, I was absolutely devastated. Would I get to see her before I leave? No, No I couldn't leave her! What if she found someone else?! No, it might be better.

I packed my things slowly holding she would comeback, but I knew it was hopeless once I zipped up my bags. I knew she needed to know but could I face her?

I walked down the hallway to Marianna-Jay's room, because I knew that's where she would be. I heard crying on the other side, and it made my heart crumble all over again.

"Yeah and if he's a jerk like that he doesn't deserve you anyway."

That really tore at my heart strings. I take a big breath and knock.

"Hang on I'll get it." I heard the voice of Kassy say.

When she opens the door she growls and I drop my head showing submission. Her growls subside and I look up slightly.

"What are you doing here, asshole?" She asks, crossing her arms.

"I need to see her. Please, please let me see her." I ask, my voice cracking.

"Hang on." She says closing the door

There was a little shuffling and mumbles behind the door before it was opened again. Before me stood my mate. besides the tears she still looked as beautiful as ever. I whimpered loudly at the evil look she was giving me and my head dropped once again.

"What do you want?" She asks lowly.

"I- Laken I've been called back. I h-have to go back." I stumble over my words.

"Okay and is this you just rubbing it in my face that I can't have you?" She growls.

That set me off and I let the tears slide down my face.

"I didn't mean to push you Laken. I'm so in love with you, I'm just to much of a pathetic asshole to see that I was pushing you. I'm so sorry. I'm not asking you to forgive me, I just thought you might want to know that I wasn't leaving because you didn't want me because I'm not a coward. I really do love you, please just know that. I hope that you can find someone you love, because I know I'm not good enough."

As I'm saying all of this I'm scratching at my wrist wishing for the cuts to open back up.

I pause hoping for an answer but she never does. I whimper and start towards the stairs quickly. I started beating myself up on the inside.

'Your so stupid, you idiot! Of course she wouldn't want to talk to you after you did something like that to her.'

"Austin."

I tried to ignore her as the tears kept falling, and I noticed my wound had opened back up.

"How long." She calls out.

I growl,"I don't need you pity Laken. This is my choice. it's how I get over things."

She gasps and let's out a sob. I fall onto a step and punch the wall beside me.

How did this happen? It was supposed to be perfect when I found my mate. It's not something you can mess up.

I growl and run back towards her and kiss her full on the mouth. I let my love for her and passion deep into the kiss. I open up my bond to her and let every single thing I ever thought about her go free into her mind.

When I was satisfied with the kiss I let her go and ran down the stairs, and to the awaiting hummer that would take me to the airport.

'I love you' I say through the mind link, before finally cutting it off for good.

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Don't hate me please!! It's what I thought would be good. It just happened.

So this is probably the fastest I have ever updated Huh? Lol

So yes Austin cuts, something new about him. And to anybody out there who is offended by this I am truly sorry I just want to try it out.

Sooooo what happens next?? COMMENT!

-Sara